You know all those checklists that promise to make your life as a first-time dog owner a breeze? Yeah, I fell for them too. Weeks before picking up my puppy, armed with enthusiasm and a basket full of gear, I thought I had everything my little furball would ever need. Fast forward a few months, and half of that stuff either found its way to the trash bin or is gathering dust in the basement because my dog either destroyed it in seconds or completely ignored it. Turns out, no amount of Instagram ads can predict what your pup will actually use — or what will end up being a total waste of money. So, let me spare you the trial and error. Here is my take on the things you’ll buy for your puppy and never, ever use.

A little disclaimer: this list might not be universal as every dog has its breed-specific needs, quirks, and behavioral patterns — not to mention different life circumstances and ages. So, some of these items might actually work for you!

As for me, I have an 11-month old Kaninchen Dachshund Alfonso — a small hunter with a passion for sniffing, chasing, chewing, pulling and tearing apart. And here are the things that just don’t work for my sausage dog.

As a relatively squeamish person, I thought I hacked the system when I ordered a poop grabber. I genuinely believed it was the most brilliant invention humanity could provide, and I would still stand by that — if only the genius of the device didn’t clash with the brutal reality. 

The reality is that your young puppy does their business about ten times a day — and then often tries to eat it. Trust me, rushing to fetch a poop grabber to clean up quickly stops being a priority. Plus, you will soon build a surprising tolerance for all sorts of gross situations.

Getting a set of bamboo bowls from a fancy dog brand seemed like a smart and conscious choice: ergonomic, stylish, and environmentally-friendly. But, apparently, their texture was just too tempting to my dog, who saw them as chew toys. And chew he did — leaving scratches all over them, even with his still baby teeth. Needless to say, it didn’t feel very hygienic to keep using them after that. 

I had seen dozens of Instagram reels hyping slow feeders as the healthiest and even most entertaining way to feed your dog from — and I have to admit, they made a pretty convincing case. So, naturally, I got one.

Did all those curves and compartments inside the ball slow my puppy down? Not quite. Instead they prevented him from eating at all. Watching my dog trying to paw at his food and fail to extract it was both heartbreaking for me and frustrating for him. After a couple of failed attempts, I put it aside for a few months, hoping he would take it when he got older. Spoiler: he didn’t.

In the end, I gave up on the slow feeder, especially since Alfie’s eating speed has never caused any issues. If your dog tends to choke or vomit from gobbling their food too quickly, it might be worth a try. Otherwise, I personally wouldn’t call it a must-have.

It is incredibly tempting to spoil your new puppy with every adorable plush shaped like pizza slices, donuts, stuffed animals, or squeaky balls. 

I have been there too, gleefully buying up half the pet store, because how could I not? But here’s the harsh truth: cuteness doesn’t equal durability.

The older my little hunter got, the faster he tore through his toys. Mr. Burito? Holes in minutes. The rubber duck? Tail bitten clean off. I just watched my money literally go to shreds, but even worse, there is a risk of your dog swallowing bits of these toys, which could lead to serious health issues.

In my case repairs were pointless. Once a toy was torn, my dachshund’s single-minded mission was total destruction. Sure, not all dogs are the same, but if you haven’t met your new pup yet, it is worth holding off on a toy spree. Or, at the very least, stick to toys specifically designed for puppies and durability. 

Also, keep in mind that during the first days in a new home, most puppies are too stressed and disoriented to care much about toys anyway. Take the time to understand your pup’s personality and preferences first.

I picked this up on a vet’s advice, when Alfie once seemed to be itchy, but it turned out to be nothing. After a couple of preventive uses it became clear that the spray didn’t do much for a healthy dog. If you have got a short, smooth-coated puppy without any skin issues and you are already using a good shampoo, my experience suggests this kind of product is pretty redundant. Sometimes, less is more when it comes to canine grooming.

If pet goods were investments, I would stake everything on a well-made bed with proper structure, removable machine-washable covers, and secure inner cushions. Owning a dachshund has taught me that the same rule applies to beds as it does to toys: the tougher it is to destroy, the better it is for everyone.

By 11 months old, Alfie had gone through several beds, but the only one without inner cushions turned out to be a disaster waiting to happen. He was fixated on it from the start, tore it apart in no time, and managed to eat a piece of the stuffing. The result? An emergency vet visit, a colonoscopy, and the heftiest medical bill I have ever paid. Lesson learned: durability is non-negotiable.

As a fashion enthusiast, I couldn’t resist and stay away from dog clothes, but, unfortunately, Alfonso doesn’t share my passion for style. Every time I try to put a sweater on him, he gets annoyed, bites at it and attempts to wriggle free — he absolutely hates it.

Thankfully, living in Amsterdam has made him begrudgingly accept (and even appreciate) his waterproof coats. Staying dry beats looking fabulous, apparently.