Two months ago, I got married. And while marriage itself sounds exciting — fun, unique, and full of joy — it also comes with a fair bit of anxiety. There is this obsessive idea that it only happens once, so it has to be the perfect version of everything you have ever imagined — and somehow still fit within a budget.

So, as an ex-bride (and now — oh my god, how strange this feels — a wife), I am ready to share the lessons I have kept after the wedding, and tell you honestly what really went well and wrong and — the most interesting thing — how much did it all cost.

What I have learned is a slightly harsh and disappointing reality — your wedding lasts just one day, while the preparation takes about a year. And that means only one thing: if you want to truly enjoy your wedding — and not feel like you are sitting an exam that will determine your future life — you have to enjoy the process. A few key questions about this part.

Should you hire organisers?

Yes — and honestly, it is one of the most important decisions you will make. Since we are being completely honest here, I will admit it: we messed up with ours. Still, having them was so much better than doing everything ourselves. They kept us on track with deadlines, suggestions, and all those little “musts” that come with planning a wedding — and that really helps.

When should you start preparing?

We started a year ahead — which, in hindsight, was both smart and not so smart. When you plan too early, decisions don’t feel final; it is easy to think, “We can always change that later.” But what we confirmed a year ago stayed with us on the wedding day.

In my opinion, the best approach is to start planning about six months in advance. The only exception is if you are set on a particular date — in that case, book the venue early to avoid disappointment. And trust me — when you are one month away from the wedding, you will be so grateful everything is already sorted. It takes time — more than you think.

What I would rather not do during the preparation?

If I had to name one thing — it is to stop letting your life revolve around the wedding. One day, I realised that all my Instagram Reels were wedding-related, and every spare moment I had was spent scrolling through bridal salons. It is draining, and it steals the joy.

So my advice here: set specific times for when you deal with wedding-related things — and stop comparing yourself to others!

The most important rule about the dress?

Easy one — get two! Especially if your first dress isn’t even remotely comfortable, the second should be light, simple, and made for movement.

I still remember the biggest torture of the day — the photoshoot right after the vows. I was suffocating in my dress, praying for it to end because it felt like it was crushing every bone in my body — nothing like how it felt during the fitting. We loosened the corset, which made it a bit more bearable, but the real fun only began once I changed into my second dress.

Budget is always the most interesting part — and the one no one really likes to talk about (which is fair enough). So here I am, saying what everyone is curious about — nothing to hide!

Important note: even if you are the most organised planner when it comes to budgeting, be prepared for it to go up by at least 10%. There is always something extra — a little cocktail reception, a new pair of heels, or some last-minute transport arrangements.

So, how much did the wedding cost?

For context, our wedding took place in Georgia, where we rented out an entire hotel. Our main requirement was privacy — we wanted the whole area to ourselves, without strangers watching or commenting on the dress.

We planned for around 30 guests, and since the hotel was quite far from the city, we also covered accommodation so everyone could stay overnight.

Altogether, it came to $17,000 — plus the rings, dresses, and guest transportation, which we paid for separately.

What was the most unnecessary expense?

At least one good thing came out of all those endless “Bride’s Tips” Reels I watched — I saved on the heels. The truth is, there is absolutely no need to overspend on them — no one really sees them anyway. By the end of the night, I was wearing the organiser’s slippers — and, again, no one noticed.

I also wouldn’t go overboard with the cocktail reception — a lot of the food there ended up untouched, though it was still important to have one. And another thing — we didn’t have a live band, yet it still felt lively and effortless. If you have got a good DJ who can read the room and match the vibe, that is more than enough.

What was the most cherished expense — the one I am glad we didn’t save on?

First, the guest transfers. No one got lost, no one called asking where to go or when to arrive. I was updated twice: once when they left the city, and once when they arrived. Zero anxiety.

Second, the photographer and videographer. As I said, the wedding flies by — too fast. Later, the only way to truly relive it is through the photos and videos.

And third — the rings. The only thing that stays with you every day, the truest symbol of that beautiful day.

I could talk about the wedding forever — it never gets boring. But I will try to stay calm and simply share the things I genuinely loved and would highly recommend to all future (or current) brides.

The best idea ever. We had a quiet breakfast followed by a morning photoshoot by the pool — the whole point was to spend some time just the two of us. In the evening, you will naturally be surrounded by family and friends — it is inevitable. But that calm morning together was so grounding and joyful.

We both thought we would have nothing to say apart from “I love you”, but once we started writing, it turned into such a personal and emotional moment — not just for us, but for everyone there.

If your wedding is small (under 30 guests, let’s say), one big table feels far more united and warm. By the end of the night, people just move their chairs around, join different conversations, and it all feels effortless and connected.

Not a strict one, but still worth having. It makes a huge difference — the photos, the videos, and the overall atmosphere just looks and feels more cohesive.

Nothing elaborate — just some time to breathe out, process what happened, and enjoy a quiet moment with your closest people. It could be breakfast, a lazy afternoon by the pool — anything that lets you slow down and truly savour it all.

Completely not the one we ordered. The moment we saw it, my husband just whispered, “What is that?” But good thing we decided to take a deep breath and laugh it off — nothing ever goes 100% according to plan, and ultimately, you set the mood for the day. Just for reference, the first two photos show what we wanted — the last one is what we received.

Tip: double-check the key details with your organisers a week before the wedding — and ask for photo confirmations. It saves a lot of stress.

I had an amazing make-up artist who did her best to calm me down and make everything perfect. Still, the timing dragged a bit, and I realised I should have had something to distract me — music, a film, or friends around to keep the energy light.

Tip: download a few films or playlists in advance, and invite your close friends to join you while you are getting ready. It helps to take your mind off the clock.

This one nearly spoiled it for me. The truth is, you can’t control everything — and trying to will only make you anxious.

Tip: talk to your organisers in advance, agree on a clear schedule, and ask them to update you calmly and politely if anything changes. My anxiety came from thinking we were running late — when in fact, we weren’t.

Luckily, one of the organisers lent me her slippers. If she hadn’t, I would have been limping all night.

Tip: bring a pair of flat shoes — just in case. You will thank yourself later.