Some people will say, “Oh, come on. Stop complaining — you look great! You just want attention or want to hear again that you’re slim.” Okay, guys. I swear that isn't it.

We often talk about how harmful it can be to comment on someone’s weight when they are bigger. Society has finally started to understand that. But there is another side we rarely discuss — what happens when those same comments are directed at someone slim.

Most people don’t mean any harm. They say it as a compliment, the same way they would compliment someone’s outfit or hairstyle. But our bodies carry deep stories — and we never know what someone has been through with theirs.

It often happens in the smallest moments. Someone hasn’t seen you for a while, and the first thing they say is, “Oh my god, you’ve lost so much weight!” They smile, thinking it is kind, but you freeze for a second. You start wondering if they are worried, impressed, or shocked — and all of those thoughts stay with you long after the conversation ends.

Before you comment on someone’s body, be absolutely sure they want to hear it. Maybe they have worked hard for a fitness goal, and for them, being told they look slim feels like recognition. In that case, fine. But for someone else, that same phrase can open an old wound.

Now imagine a person who is struggling to gain weight. And no — it isn't an exaggeration or false modesty. Low weight can interfere with life. It can make you feel weak, affect your health, and weigh on your mind. So when someone says, “Wow, you’re so thin,” it can hurt — because that person might already be fighting to change it.

Or imagine someone who has had an eating disorder. That happened to me. I will write more about it when I am ready, but here is the short version: I was always slim, but at some point, due to circumstances, I lost control over my weight. My body kept losing weight no matter what I ate. It was terrifying, and I never want to go back there.

Now my weight is okay, but I am always careful. Because if it goes down again, my health will react. My period might stop. My energy drops. And the fear is always there — that it could spiral out of control again.

People who have experienced eating disorders often have fragile relationships with their bodies. During that time, your brain doesn’t show you the truth. You can be very thin and still see someone “too big” in the mirror. That distorted perception doesn’t fully disappear even years later.

So when someone says to me, “Wow, you’re so thin,” it hits a nerve. It isn't a compliment — it triggers anxiety. My first instinct is to overeat immediately, to prove to myself that I am okay. My mind splits: one part tells me, “You’re fine, your weight is healthy.” The other whispers, “They said that because you look unhealthy, too skinny, maybe even sick.” Then I start checking my reflection — are my bones showing? Is my face too hollow? It becomes a spiral of panic.

I have been managing this for about 15 years, and I am proud that the healthy part of my brain usually wins. But the anxious part never fully disappears. Eating disorders leave traces — both in the body and in the mind.

That is why it is better to be careful with comments about anyone’s appearance, especially about weight. Unless you are very close to someone and know for sure that they will take it as a compliment, avoid mentioning how thin they are.

In the end, it all comes down to kindness. Our words about someone’s body can stay in their head far longer than we imagine. If you want to make someone feel good, focus on their energy, their smile, their presence — not the number on the scale or how visible their bones are.

A simple “you look great” is always enough. It uplifts without crossing into something personal or painful.