On Becoming Africa’s Oprah. Interview With Yvette

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by Alexandra Mansilla

On Becoming Africa’s Oprah. Interview With Yvette, the Podcaster

25 Jul 2024

I found out about Yvette Kikuyu and her podcast, "Dubai Diastories", when I was looking up information about House of Yanos and came across her interview with Toqsic. It was so genuine, layered, and impressive that I decided to shoot her a DM and ask for an interview. And guess what? It worked.

First off, you have to check out "Dubai Diastories". Secondly, in real life, Yvette is exactly like she is on YouTube — emotional, super open, and honest. She is full of energy and zest for life, despite all the tough times she has been through.

Read about Yvette, a podcaster who, step by step, day by day, keeps pushing towards her goal no matter what.

— Yvette, before we started recording our conversation, you told me that you were in a challenging period of life. What is going on?

— So, it is mid-June, and I am in my last month of savings. Honestly, I thought I would be more scared than this. I thought I would be freaking out. But I am not. But the fact that I am not freaking out is freaking me out. This is the first time I have been in this situation.

I lost my job at a healthcare startup about a year ago, and the adventure of my life began!

In my twenties, I focused so much on building a career that I never developed any enterprising skills. Yet, it was so easy to do at the time. I was in a top-tier, fast-paced company with amazing leadership, but I just didn’t take advantage of it. That is one of my biggest regrets. I used to think, "How can I serve my job? How can I be better at my job?" instead of "How is this job serving me?"

In my thirties, that script flipped. A little nut in my brain got loose, and I realised, "Why am I on this side of employment? Who says I can't be on the other side as the employer?" That is when the creativity bug started running wild in my head.

Granted, I have always been creative. Since I was six, I have been into drama, debate, spoken word, poetry — anything that involves speaking. I think that is my superpower. One of my friends even said to me, "Yvette, you're a conversational healer. Nobody talks to you and leaves the same. That is just who you are."

— Your mom passed away when she was 52. Could you share more about her? What is her story?

— She is my hero. I love her to death. I think about her every day.

Given the circumstances life handed her, she was a warrior. Nothing was impossible for her. She worked in the travel industry and, despite being the least educated in the family, she was the most exposed to the world. She got to see the world, fell in love with my dad, and then had me. Unfortunately, life dealt us a big blow when my dad passed away. He was poisoned. I would rather not discuss the details at this point. I was six years old.

After that, it was just me and my mom. She never remarried and told me, "I'm going to make you an amazing person with the abilities I have. I remember this day so vividly. I was 8. She said, ‘’From today, you are my primary and only responsibility.’’ Once your last school fee is paid, then I'll start dating and living my life again." And it happened like that.

She was diagnosed with diabetes in her late 30s and managed it until her early 50s when it got worse. When she passed away, I didn't do an autopsy. I didn't want to know exactly what killed her. I felt like I would blame the hospital and lose my mind if I found out there was any form of negligence. Exactly 20 years later, after my dad, my mom passed away. This was in 2014, I was 26 years old.

I came back to Dubai after the funeral. What did I do? Typical Yvette: don't deal with your feelings; just let them hit you when they do. I didn't go to therapy or talk to anyone, so I was very active in avoiding my grief.

I had no idea that grief is not something that goes away like pain; it stays with you forever. From 2015 to 2019, I was doing amazing, making tons of money, and living the high life. Then I got tired of sales after doing it for about 11 years. I was working in tech recruitment.

In 2019, I applied for a particular position I wanted but didn't get it. After 11 years of giving my all, they couldn't give me this position. I gave them an ultimatum, thinking I was a superstar and they would want to keep me. They showed me the door.

What just happened? Aren't you supposed to be begging me to stay? Look at my numbers! I felt like I was being punked. Little did I know that in 2020, COVID-19 would hit, and the whole world as we know it would change.

That was the first time I had to sit with my feelings. Alone. Just Yvette — not Yvette the superstar or the amazing employee making money, not Yvette the stylish party girl. It was the first time I sat down with Yvette, the orphan, the one in pain and the one who felt like a failure. This was by far the craziest experience of my life. It is like I tapped into a dark side of my brain that I didn't even know existed. Mental health is real!

For the first time, I was in Dubai, unemployed. I didn't know myself without a job because, in Dubai, it is standard to be asked, "Oh, what's your name? Yvette? What do you do?" Not having an answer made me feel like a failure.

So, that is what happened. I fell into depression.

Photo: Yvette's personal archive

— How did you cope with it?

— You know, when it is happening, you don’t realise it is happening. You only realise in hindsight. People tell you you are depressed, but you are so comfortable in it that you just go with the flow; it quickly becomes your new normal.

It is functional depression. You can still function, but you are like a zombie, going through the motions. You do your morning routine, shower, and get some things done, but emotionally, you are disconnected. There is no joy or vibrance, I live my life in colour, but during this season, everything just feels grey. It is like those dystopian movies where everyone wears the same clothes and operates like robots. That is how it feels.

I remember one time I was at the supermarket, and this little child just ran up and hugged me out of nowhere. A tiny little girl just hugged me and smiled. A cute Indian baby — I'll never forget her.

I was so low on cash at that point. When I got to the counter, I pulled out my bank card, and the teller checked if I had points. I was buying stuff for about $150, and she told me I had points worth $650. I was shocked and went back for a full cart of groceries that lasted me the entire 2020. Moments like that, even when you are really sad, give you a spark. I call them jolts of hope, they remind you of the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.

I don't know if I would call it humanity, the universe, vibrations, frequencies, or manifestations, but I believe for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. So, believe it or not, you can feel the same amount of joy for the pain you are feeling now.

And in all that madness, that is where I started my podcast.

— Before we will speak about your podcast, let me talk more about that period. So, there was no therapy, right?

— No. I started therapy in 2021.

— Why in 2021? Why not earlier?

— I ended up getting a job at a healthcare company. It was a unique experience for me. I had never interacted with the healthcare system as a provider before — only as a patient. I got to experience healthcare from a business perspective, not just a healing perspective, and it made me appreciate things I had previously taken for granted. I delved into different specialisations and learned so many fascinating aspects about healthcare.

In this process, I used my gift to connect with people. When I visited therapy centres, the conversations I had were incredible. One day, I was talking with a doctor who asked if I would ever considered therapy. I replied that I didn't believe in it. We ended up having a beautiful conversation. He explained how Africans often rely more on religion than therapy and that our spirituality actually makes us more mentally stable because we connect the head, the heart, and the hand. Many other communities don't focus on building emotional intelligence alongside their academic lives. You have to invest in your emotional and mental health, which is why mental health is such a big issue right now. The conversations we avoid are often the ones we most need to have. For example, the conversation about death. Parents rarely talk with their kids about it, don’t they?

I feel blessed to have had a mom who didn’t have a standard African upbringing. Her parents died when she was young, so she moved from the village to the city and brought herself up literally. She didn’t follow the standard generational practices of upbringing. Instead, she raised me based on her dreams and what she knew she wanted her life to be like. She wanted me to receive what she didn’t get.

My mom taught me everything. She once said to me during the festive season, "Think of Coca-Cola. Every year they do a different advertisement, every Christmas a big campaign, but it is still the same Coca-Cola." She would tell me, "You are a brand. Your heart stays the same because that is who you are, but to survive in this world, you need to take care of yourself physically." She taught me about self-care, like shaping my eyebrows and doing my makeup, dressing up, and my love for shoes and scents. While many women in Africa back then loved long hair, she rocked short hair, and in her memory, I rock short hair too. When I walk into a room, I command it. I was raised by a queen, that I know for sure.

The flip side is that when it comes to men, I am clueless. They say your father is your first love, but sadly, I never got to enjoy that bond, and this gap shows up in my romantic relationships. In my entire childhood, I never saw the setting of a nuclear family, mother, father, and child together. So when I get into relationships, I am just like, “What’s happening here?” It scares me. And now, I have met an amazing man.

— Where? How did it happen?

— I met someone recently. A few weeks ago, my friends and I went for brunch to celebrate our monthly milestones. We believe in celebrating every achievement, no matter how small it is.

During the pandemic, I sat down with nothing — no job, no mom, no security. In 2020, I started my podcast. After losing my healthcare job, I launched Dubai Diastories on YouTube. Now, I am working on another project inspired by my healthcare experience. For the first time, I am doing something that is truly mine.

At the brunch, this suave man walked up to me and said, "You're Yvette, the podcaster." For a moment, I froze. That is me! ALL ME! No one can take my podcast away from me. Nobody can hire or fire me, it is MINE!

His words hit me deeply, validating my journey and giving me a profound realisation. I finally felt like I had found my identity. It was like unlocking a vault, feeling the rush of clarity and purpose.

Irrespective of what lies ahead for us, I will treasure this moment as a core memory for life.

Photo: Yvette's personal archive

— How do you think which experience made you stronger?

— I would say my mom's death for sure gave me my voice and the ability to trust my gut.

Through this, I learned to trust my inner and outer voice, my sixth sense, where I believe she resides. Sometimes, when I make decisions, it feels like she is making them. I even think in her voice, which is wild.

Losing my job after a successful 11-year career made me realise that if I can make money for someone else, imagine what I could do for myself. That was a light bulb moment during the pandemic. The pandemic itself made me see there are two situations in life: AUC (areas under your control) and ABC (areas beyond your control). Forget the ABC and focus on the AUC, and you'll find peace.

I have a huge lion tattoo on my back because I am a lion. No matter the economy of the jungle, I will never eat grass. It is not pride; it is just who I am. I just need to channel it in a way that aligns with my purpose.

Something will work out this year. Whether it is an investor or a husband or my dream job, something will click. Right now, I just need someone to say, "Yvette, your utility bills are covered. Here's X thousand dirhams or dollars, whatever. Chase your dreams." The magic that is in here can then be unleashed.

It is a beautiful time for African content creators because of the global rise of Afrobeats and African entertainment. There is a hunger for African culture here in the Middle East, and they are very intertwined due to proximity. This is where I want to establish my hub.

I remember telling a friend, who was fired from Emirates and moved back during the pandemic, that I might move back too. She said, "No, Yvette. Your Dubai dream isn’t done. You haven't shaken Sheikh Maktoum’s hand yet. You are the Kenyan who has to do it." My dream isn’t done. I want to open the first African omnichannel here — vlogs, podcasts, music, DJs. If you are an African in the UAE and want to connect with your roots, this will be the platform for you.

— In 2020, you started the "Clatchet" Podcast! Let's begin with the name — what other names did you consider? Why did you choose this one?

— That is a beautiful question. I like to think of myself as a combination of two personalities. I can be classy, like Michelle Obama, the proper politician’s wife who holds fundraisers, visits schools, and genuinely loves community service. I love making people happy and letting them know they matter. I think of life this way. One day the universe had a question, decided you were the answer, and you were born. So you matter, regardless of your circumstances. That gives me joy. So, I can be Michelle Obama: classy and poised.

But I can also be ratchet, like Cardi B.

It is just a combination of the best of both worlds. The vibrant, feminine, elegant, brainy, witty side of Yvette, and then the crazy, fun-loving, adrenaline-rushing, heavy rap music, big tattoos, coloured hair side of me. I am not just one thing. I am a culmination of all my experiences.

Instagram: @yvette.kikuyu

— Once, you asked a question: "What would you do differently if your life had a deadline?" Now, could you answer this question?

— I am already doing it. I am taking risks I would have never taken before, gambling on myself. I am not relying on a system that I have been trained to admire and believe is the only path to success. Instead, I am going for what I feel is personal success, curving my own path even if it doesn't make sense to anyone else. It makes sense to me. I am living for me, by me.

— You initially made your podcasts without cameras and then started "Dubai Diastories" with cameras eight months ago. Do you remember the day you decided it was time to show your face to everyone?

— To be very honest, my initial goal was to start a podcast. I feel like audio-visual content, especially in this aesthetically driven generation, sometimes dilutes the message. If you look at YouTube now, the vlogger content has mostly shifted to podcast-style conversations. I used to hate it when I would post an episode on YouTube, and people would comment on my appearance rather than the content of my message. It is not about how I look, it is about what I am saying. That is why podcasts made more sense to me. You can listen while doing other things — cleaning, folding laundry, whatever — and still feel energised by the content.

I wanted to tell stories of people who have achieved amazing things from humble beginnings, as well as those who came in with high expectations, failed, and left. Real, inspiring stories. Some of the raw emotions captured in "Dubai Diastories" can't be fully conveyed through audio alone, especially since not all my guests are expressive speakers. Sometimes, the only way to connect is through their visible emotions.

That is where audio-visual content made sense. I also wanted to scale it up to look more professional, with proper production values, to attract advertisers and turn it into a revenue-making machine. I always think of business in terms of three things: people, planet, and profit. Am I making a positive impact on someone's life? Am I making the world a better place? And if it can make me money, why not? That is the way I think.

— Could you describe your guests in a few words?

— For "Dubai Diastories", my guest selection is a bit selfish. For the first two seasons, I wanted to focus exclusively on people who look like me. I call it FUBU — For Us By Us — because I feel we are underrepresented in the media space here in the Middle East. We don't have our own TV channels or radio stations; Instagram is the main way we communicate as a community. I want to build a platform that brings us together.

When you leave your home country for Dubai, there is a perception you have, but then there is the reality. "Dubai Diastories" aims to soften the blow between perception and reality, so it is not such a shock. For instance, if you are looking for business inspiration, you can watch an episode featuring someone like Toqsic, who has a similar life experience in entertainment. It can be inspiring and reassuring to know you are not alone.

Assimilating to a new culture can be heavy, especially when you are far from home. My goal is to create a space that eases that transition and connects us in meaningful ways.

— Your team is small, right?

— For now, it is just me on the admin and creative side of things and the team at the studio that handles production. Also, I don't believe in scripting my podcasts. I have lost many good guests because of it. When you script, it feels more like an interview than a genuine conversation. It is like you are selling something rather than being authentic. If you insist on scripting, I'll give you a few questions, but I'll still throw in my own to keep it spontaneous.

The best episodes feature guests who say, "No script, let's just talk. We can edit out anything if needed." That is how it was with Toqsic — you could tell it was just two people having a real conversation.

— And how could you describe your childhood in Kenya?

— To be very honest, it was beautiful. I had an average life. I wouldn't say we were poor, and I wouldn't say we were rich, but I experienced both sides. I loved my upbringing, irrespective of the challenges. Before my dad died, even though I was too young to fully understand, I remember the drivers, the chefs, and the clothes flown in from Harrods in the UK. My dad was an officer and a general, so he was top-notch, you know. And then my mom, she is a queen, an elegant warrior who blazed her own trail.

TV brought me up. Back then, in Kenya, after dad passed, my mom would go to work, and when we didn't have help, I would go to my aunt's house and stay with her kids, which was good for development. Then, around 4 pm, I would walk back to our house, make tea, and take clothes off the line to fold them. My mom would come home around 7.00 pm.

Between 4 and 7 pm was prime time for talk shows in Kenya. They used to show Oprah, Tyra Banks, a couple of religious shows, and we had MTV. My mom was a big fan of Oprah, but because of work, she couldn't catch the episodes. So she would allow me to watch, and when she came home and was cooking, I would narrate all the stories I had seen on Oprah.

Do you know how I would do it? I would grab a comb, play-act as the host, then go to the other side and answer what the guest said. The most beautiful part was that they reran the episodes the next day between 11 and 1 pm. My mom had a TV in her office, so sometimes she would watch the episode again and tell me, "You missed this part. You didn't tell me this part."

— I love this story! And now, announce everything you want.

To be very honest, my life is chaotic right now. Dubai Diastories is on hold due to financial reasons. I am working on getting three influencer contracts approved, which is taking longer than expected since I haven't done big influencing before. If they come through, it will be great. I am still writing part-time for some healthcare doctors I used to work with, helping them with their blogs, websites, and Instagram. Trust me, it is very hard for a neurosurgeon to think of a caption on Instagram.

On top of that, I am working on something new in the healthcare sector. During my time in healthcare, I noticed a lot of interest in cosmetic procedures. Unfortunately, back home, many people have misconceptions about cosmetic procedures, associating them with plastic and health risks like cancer. But through my work and conversations with doctors, I realised there is a gap there.

My goal is to start a healthcare app to help Kenyans come to Dubai for cosmetic procedures. For the past three months, I have been coordinating everything: flights, surgeries, and more. Women who have had kids and don't feel sexy anymore, whose husbands are away or on vacation, come to me. They leave as rejuvenated versions of themselves, and I earn a fee from both the patient and the facility.

Right now, I feel like my universe is twisting and turning. You know, like when you see the spiralling of a tornado. That is exactly how I feel. I am trying to catch everything, and as a spiritual person, I believe in God. God is telling me to surrender, that He is in control. I am learning to. This year, I said I wanted to build my relationship with my maker. I believe in spirituality, the power of the universe, and manifestations. I know I was designed to vibrate on a higher frequency, but I have been running away from it for a long time. Why? Because I don't like fame. I am an only child, and I like my privacy. I like to be crazy the way I want without any attention.

But let me tell you something: Oprah retired, I am here to take over. My story is going to be bigger because I am Africa's Oprah. My journey is just starting. Watch this space.

by Alexandra Mansilla