In my 27 years of existence, there has always been one constant habit of mine which was never appreciated until the day I was approached with this article idea — eavesdropping. Naturally, I was excited to embark on this activity for the next couple of weeks in the name of research. And especially in a city like Dubai, you hear so many phrases told very nonchalantly that to an outsider looking in, it might not actually make much sense. Here are a series of short stories and information that I’ve gathered.

The other day at my workplace, as I got out of a slow, traffic-packed drive and walked into the building, I was coerced by a box of banana bread that somebody had brought in leading me directly to the kitchen. Now, usually in the mornings before everyone disperses to their desks, there is a short period when everyone is thirsty for water simultaneously, and a small gathering forms around the water cooler. We all know what happens next; stories about the weekend, favourite TV shows, preference for coffee beans, and just about anything that isn’t work-related are all shared in those few minutes. During this particular morning, I overheard one of them ask the other in a very concerned tone, “Hey, what is bitcoin? And why are they all here?” to which the other guy responded, “That’s actually a fantastic question. I think we should look that up.” I’m honestly still waiting for the rest of that conversation.

That same night I went to an Italian restaurant to meet a friend for dinner. I was watching this South-Asian family who were speaking Hindi and when the waiter came by, the mother stopped him and asked, “Can I get some salt? This pasta’s a bit bland.” As a South Asian person myself who comes from a culture with the most diverse set of spices in their cuisine, I feel you, mama.

On Saturday, I decided to take myself out on a solo date to the movies. As the movie started, halfway through, I heard the couple behind me speaking where the woman asked the man, “Do you think we could order popcorn to our seats? I really don’t want to miss this scene.” I mean, if that’s not the most Dubai thing you’ve ever heard, I don’t know what is! 

I decided to meet my friends at a club later that same night and we were dancing the night away and around midnight, they started playing ‘Could You Be Loved’ by Bob Marley. I overheard a couple of American guys behind me say, “Oh my god, this is the best song they’ve played all night.” Later in the night, a couple of girls were talking to each other by the bar where one gave the other a confused look and asked, “Are you okay? You look like you’re about to have a mental breakdown.” And then in the girl’s bathroom, someone yelled, “I’m having the worst time, does anybody have any lipstick I could borrow?” Just a typical fun Saturday night.

The next day we had a mini gathering at my friend’s house after dinner and my friend was texting somebody on her phone for a bit too long. We stared her down and asked her who she’s texting and trying to insinuate something to which she turned her phone around and said “I’m texting the grocery guy for snacks so we can watch a late-night movie, duh!” Honestly, I can’t imagine Whatsapp-ing a grocery store in the middle of the night for some chips and soda anywhere else in the world, it’s truly quite bizarre and unheard of.

I even got to overhear some gossip behind the counter of a cafe between two cashiers. One of them was blushing as she said, “He said he got it for me as an early birthday present so I think it’s getting serious. It was very beautiful; I will wear it tomorrow.” That made me smile. Another day at another restaurant behind the counter were two cashiers speaking to each other and one of them said, “Just put half the fries in the takeout bag for delivery; no one will notice.” That did not make me smile. Restaurant name will be kept confidential… unless you ask me privately.

I now sit at this co-working space as I write my final accidentally overheard story about a brainstorm meeting happening at the table next to mine. A very flustered-looking man said to his co-workers, “Yeah but their budget is sh*t! We can’t take them on board. Khallas.”

Khallas, indeed.