My Vipassana Experience In Ras Al-Khaimah: Diary, Part 2

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by Alena Anishchenkova

My Vipassana Experience In Ras Al-Khaimah: Diary, Part 2

17 Jun 2024

Those who read the first part of the Vipassana diary have surely been anticipating the second part. If you haven't read it yet — read it before this one; it is important to follow each day to see the changes that occurred in the author.

Now, we are publishing the second part of the diary, where Vipassana comes to an end. The author breaks the rules (just a little) and reflects on the experience — what lessons she learned and whether she plans to do it again.

Different people experience Vipassana in their own unique ways, each with different impressions and reactions. This article shares the author's personal experience — your own journey through Vipassana may be completely different.

Day 6: Breaking the rules

They said days 2 and 6 are the hardest. I didn’t feel that up until the afternoon; I realised I could not meditate anymore. The maximum I can do is go and sit in a lotus position in the hall, but I give up focusing on the body parts — it is impossible, I will just sit and think my thoughts. I GIVE UP, I cannot do this any more, I know I am not gonna leave at this point as half of it is already done, but I cannot express how much I want to go back to normal life.

In between meditations, I was sitting outside, and one of the girls looked at me and showed me four fingers, meaning there were only four days left. It was one of the most uplifting experiences of my life; there was so much love, support, compassion, and connection. First of all, you are not allowed to communicate in any way, but she did, and she picked me because, from her vibe, I could tell she was going through a similar experience. It meant a lot, and it actually boosted my mood and overall motivation.

Okay, now that I have given up meditating for today, I feel like I can break some rules. When you are at Vipassana, you are not allowed to have any writing materials with you, but I have this urge to write down all the thoughts you are reading now.

I remember there is a pen next to the meditation hall for people signing up to see a teacher, but I don’t have any paper available. I am pretty sure I have two plasters in my room (let’s quickly imagine how much you can write on a plaster:). Apparently, a little delusion is creeping in again today. Moving on, what else can I use? Writing notes on my body seems like the next option; it definitely needs to be a place covered by clothes. Angelina Jolie comes to mind with her rib tattoo, and you can actually write quite a lot there. Still, it will be hard to shower, and it is freaking hot outside, so a shower is the only real pleasure I have here. Making it uncomfortable would be kind of stupid. Think again.

I got it — toilet paper! So I waited until everyone went to sleep, went to the meditation hall, looked around, got the pen, put it into my pocket, rushed to the toilet, and made notes on the toilet paper. I felt so relieved; it was like a rash I needed to get rid of.

Image: Midjourney x The Sandy Times

Day 7: Can do only 45 min. Or more…?

Three days to go. Are you sure I cannot go home now?

There is another layer to the second meditation technique that I didn’t mention. We need to try to sit for at least one hour without changing position. At first, I could only manage 15 minutes. Today, in the morning, three days later, I can sit for 30 minutes without pain and 15 minutes powering through the pain, so the longest I can sit is 45 minutes before I have to change.

Surprisingly, this evening, everything changed. All of a sudden, I could sit for 1 hour, and for the last 15 minutes, there was no pain at all — it vanished. I honestly don’t understand how that is possible because pain is not just in our heads; it is something we feel in our bodies, and I know it is there. How can it just disappear?

Day 8: A list of things I am gonna do when I am out

It is crazy boring here. We are so limited in terms of what we can do. Let’s count together: meditate, eat, drink, sleep, walk, go to the toilet, shower, put on clothes, wash the clothes, clean the room, lay on the bed, sit outside, stare at nature, think, and guess. That is it.

Imagine a normal day for a normal person — the sky has the limit. You can literally do anything, go anywhere, fly anywhere, do any activity, etc. — millions of options. Probably one of the purposes of Vipassana is to increase gratitude, but let’s see what I say at the very end of it.

I already have a list of things I am going to do when I am out to ground myself (I LOVE lists, lol):

— Give the biggest hug to my friend who is picking me up (you miss humans and the physical touch so very much);

— Take the longest, most non-apologetic shower;

— Go for a massage;

— Listen to my favourite album (Headache — The head hurts but the heart knows the truth);

— Eat either honey cake, carrot cake, or brownie (in order of preference);

— Call my mom to hear her voice;

— Write all these mental notes down to warn friends and acquaintances of the real difficulties of the process so that they are aware if they ever sign up for it.

Another huge hardship of Vipassana is the lack of a support system. There are no people to comfort you, and you don’t have your familiar and favourite activities or belongings to turn to when you are sad or down. You can't read a favourite book, go to a place you like, wear a comfy cardigan, or eat a dish from your childhood. Again and again, you feel very alone, which is definitely not the best feeling, but it is so necessary to achieve the maximum results.

Photo: Conscious Design

Day 9: Lessons I learnt

Let me take you through the lessons I learnt from this experiment. The best part of it is the philosophy behind it all:

— We all have misery in our lives. Our mission is to minimise it. Misery comes from our cravings and attachments to people and objects;

— How to decrease it? First and foremost: by looking at reality as it is, not as we want it to be + living in the present moment;

— Thoughts of the past don’t make sense as it has already passed, and thoughts about the future again are useless because these are the thoughts that make us miserable: for example, wanting to have a Bentley in the future creates misery right now as you don’t have it and probably never would, the only thoughts that are okay to go — are the thoughts of the present;

— Two key notions here: impermanence (remember how I had pain when I was meditation at the beginning and how it seemed to be impossible to pass, but it did eventually, same here with the world everything comes and goes, if you understand that — then you have no cravings and attachments that make you unhappy). The second notion is the non-reaction to negativity. Basically, this one teaches not to spread negativity further.

To give you an example of the latter: remember the girl from day 2 (the one who was too close to me while meditating)? Well, on day 6, I slightly touched her back when she was rocking back and forth in my face again. She moved her seat away from me, giving me more space, so it didn't bother me anymore. However, on day 9, she accidentally moved it back and started doing her usual exercise very close to me again. This time, I just smiled. There was absolutely no need for me to get angry, protective, or frustrated. Lesson well learned.

Another example if someone is cutting you off on the road — you have two options: turn angry and ruin your own day, hour, even one minute by being negative and fuming OR you can just let the person be (he is probably very miserable and have a big family to take care of and his behaviour has nothing to do with you).

Day 10: Relief, happiness, joy, laughter

Relief, happiness, joy, gratitude, laughter — today has been perfect. We got our phones back at 12 pm and were allowed to talk a couple of hours later. I am immensely proud of myself. In my everyday life, I rarely have the chance to test my strength or the resilience of my mind because my life is very comfortable and not filled with struggles. Vipassana provided the opportunity to test myself and see if I could endure it for 10 days, and I did.

I am very happy that Vipassana happened in my life and taught me these valuable lessons. However, I don’t think I will come back to do Vipassana every year. One time is enough for me.

by Alena Anishchenkova