On a Bike In 100 Days. Interview With Paula Ralph

by Alexandra Mansilla

Between Two Continents On a Bike In 100 Days. Interview With Paula Ralph

4 Feb 2024

Paula Ralph is not a professional cyclist, nor has she been cycling all her life. She is a person who strongly believes in herself and has decided to take on a challenge — to ride a bicycle for 20,000 kilometres from South Africa to Norway. Her journey was set to begin on the first Sunday of February and would have lasted for 100 days or even less. Paula’s preparation was complete, but fate intervened a week before her expected departure, and her journey was cancelled.

We talked to Paula and learned about her journey to a more peaceful life. We also discussed her trip and the reasons for its unexpected cancellation.

— Paula, while searching for your information, I came across your website and read a story about your childhood. You grew up in a family where communication was poor, involving yelling and fighting. Can you please share more about it?

— It is tough because my parents are still here, and we have worked through many things. Our communication is much better now than when I was growing up. I guess when I grew up, my parents didn't know how to communicate with each other. My mum came from an abusive family, and the famous saying is, “Hurt people hurt people,” right? So, there always seemed to be a lot of anger in the house. If we needed to communicate, it would always end up in fighting, screaming, and shouting. My mum would hate me saying this because it is her past, but she often threw things. I often had things coming at my head — like birthday cakes being thrown across rooms.

I only realised how much it affected me as an adult when I tried to have adult relationships with friends and partners. Whenever there was any disagreement or conflict, I would resort back to feeling angry and unable to communicate effectively. I couldn't understand why I felt that way or where it came from. After going through a divorce, I did a lot of soul-searching and realised that I needed to fix myself because I am not a whole human being. There are broken parts that need to be fixed.

— A child who grows up in such circumstances can behave differently and communicate with others differently. So, did you have friends in your childhood?

— I wouldn't say I had a lot of friends, but I had very good friends.

— I know that you had an abusive relationship.

— It was before my marriage. I had a six-year abusive relationship before I got married. That was physically, mentally controlling, and verbally abusive. You know, in every possible way, it was toxic. Then we split, and I met my husband (now my ex-husband). My new relationship wasn't an abusive one, but it wasn't a healthy relationship either. I had a big part to play in that unhealthy aspect of it. But I think my ex had his issues as well. The fact that neither of us could communicate led to the eventual end of the marriage.

— Apologies for bringing up your previous relationship again — the abusive one. People who have never faced an abusive relationship couldn't imagine how hard it is to leave that person. Can you please share your story?

— That person was extremely controlling. It didn't take much for him to turn me against my parents because my relationship with them was already vulnerable. But once, my parents came to the house where I was staying with him, picked me up, and took me back home. For a solid weekend, I only cried and said I wanted to return. So they had no choice but to take me back to this relationship that was the worst relationship ever. Finally, my ex-husband came into the picture and helped me get out of there.

— But how?

— The abusive boyfriend played the guitar, a phenomenal guitar. He could have been a rock star had he not been such a bad guy. My ex-husband also played the guitar; they knew each other and jammed together. Sometimes, they talked about their personal lives, mentioning that they had girlfriends who lived in other cities. Then, slowly but surely, my ex-husband made me realise how bad my relationship was. And he helped me get out of it, get into my flat, start a new life, get a new job, and all that. We started dating, and I wouldn't say I went from a bad relationship to a bad relationship. I went from a bad relationship to a good relationship that turned sour.

— After all of this, did you have some sessions with psychologists?

— No, I still haven’t. But it is on my to-do list! After my divorce, I had a three-year mental breakdown, and my whole world collapsed. I kind of mentally went to the pits of hell. I realised I was the only person who would get me out of that. I kind of just clawed my way back to the lights.

Now, I do Brazilian jiu-jitsu and Olympic Freestyle Wrestling, which helps immensely. Once, my Olympic Freestyle Wrestling coach Saeed introduced me to a gentleman, Paul Burden, a performance coach. I booked sessions with him, and it was phenomenal. What we did was reprogramme a couple of things and reprogramme my thinking. And we worked through sort of me getting in the way of myself.

I used to have big dreams and goals, and I still do. And everything I am working for now with the ride is leading up to an extension of those dreams and goals I put in place then. I had to overcome my fears and learn how to communicate better. In the past, I used to keep everything bottled up inside and avoid talking to people. I feared they would mock me, steal my ideas, or laugh in my face. But working on the ride helped me overcome these fears to a great extent. Even now, I sometimes struggle with communication, but I recognise it sooner and overcome it faster.

Photo: Paula's personal archive

— So, as I know, you are a sports therapist specialising in prehabilitation. Can you describe your whole career way to this point?

— I lived in South Africa, studied Anatomy for four years at university, got out of it and didn't do anything with it. At that time, I was already in an abusive relationship. My ex-boyfriend had significant restrictions. I was forbidden from interacting with men, being alone with them, or having male friends who weren't his. I was stuck. And, of course, I didn't believe in myself.

So then I started working in retail but hated it. After a few years, I met my now ex-husband, and in 2001, we moved to the UK. There, I started working for Virgin Mobile in the call centre. Later, believe it or not, I bounced over to being an event coordinator for a Christian church, which was an exciting time. After that, I became a personal assistant for two directors at Wessex Water. If I ever get to apologise to those guys, I will do so because I was so rubbish at the job. It was hilarious; I just wrecked everything from start to finish. Then, a friend suggested that I do what I love. What was it? Helping people and showing them how to be healthy.

I did some research and got my personal training qualifications. Then, I started going slowly but surely towards my goal. Although I don't want to be a personal trainer, I am passionate about deep tissue massage and helping people with injuries. That is why I started teaching people how to get personal training qualifications. Also, I got my sports therapy qualifications and ensured everything was up to date. From there, I started developing the sports therapy side of things. I realised that the world focuses too much on rehabilitation than on injury prevention. But to prevent an injury is better than to cure it.

If I have an injury and come back from it, I will never be 100 per cent healthy because scar tissue and other problems always remain. So, it is always going to affect the way I function. So, I aim to change athletes' mindsets from thinking that injury is a part of sports. No, it is not. It shouldn't be your mindset. You can start preventing injuries from day one; you should always look after yourself. You have to do many things, but it is possible.

— And now, let’s talk about your journey. Can you please describe the route country by country?

— We planned to start in Cape Town and ride through Botswana, Zambia, Tanzania, Sudan, Ethiopia, Egypt, Jordan, Iraq, Turkey, Bulgaria, and Serbia. Then, up through Austria, Hungary, Germany, Denmark, Sweden, and Norway. We would have had have two ferry rides — one between Egypt and Jordan and the other between Denmark and Sweden.

— So, the obvious question is, how did you prepare?

— My team leader, Craig, is in Dubai, and we discussed the logistics for our bike ride. The most challenging part is figuring out how to get our support vehicle through the top three countries. Transporting it from South Africa to the Sudanese border isn't easy. But, I recently found some WhatsApp groups for bike packers from all over the world. There is one for Cape to Cairo, one for the Middle East, and one for Europe, and they have millions of members. They are always happy to share tips and answer questions. Seeing so many people coming together to help each other achieve their dreams of exploring the world on two wheels is truly unique.

Instagram: @paulaprincesspanda_dxb

— But how did you prepare physically?

— I got on my bike and rode almost every day. My coach gave me two rest days, one full day and one day, where I did Brazilian jiu-jitsu to provide me with some other training besides cycling. I also had days where I went to the gym. But every day, I used to have some sort of training mixed in with cycling. I always joked that my coach was trying to kill me. I even did hill climbs and 10-hour bike rides that ended with hill climbs.

— So, 20,000 kilometres in 100 days!

— 100 days or less. I was hoping actually to get it done in 82 days. And I still have hope!

— It is incredibly fast.

— 250 kilometres daily. It depends on the wind, but I would estimate around 10 to 15 hours daily.

— You would need to cross several borders throughout the journey. What documents does that require?

— I can pass through various countries and receive a free visitor's visa, which is excellent — the support crew — the same. However, the issue we face is with the vehicle. We need insurance and a visa for the car, and there are a few papers that we can only apply for a couple of days in advance. We plan to get the necessary paperwork in South Africa before we start our journey.

— Your support crew will consist of two people. Who are they?

— Craig Lombardi is my support team leader. He owns a company called Kamikaze Chipmunks. He describes the company as a concierge service for extreme athletes. So he gives full support to anybody doing crazy stuff. And Craig Lombardi is the leader of my support team. He is the owner of a company called Kamikaze Chipmunks. His company is a concierge service that fully supports extreme athletes.

The other gentleman is David Soto, who has recently joined our team. Craig has an impressive network of contacts! He uses it to connect us with people who can provide us with the support we need. I feel confident about our trip because my support is excellent.

— Professional cyclists usually set the records. However, you weren't keen on bicycles before embarking on this journey. You decided, went to the shop, and bought a bike. That is how your journey into the world of bikes began.

— I have always had incredibly high expectations of myself, and it was hard to accept failures. My performance coach, Paul Burden, helped me deal with all this. During our sessions, we played word association games, and he said: "Tell me the first word that comes into your head when I say the word failure." I started thinking. He interrupted me and said: "No, not that second one, but this first one." He is so intuitive! He saw me thinking of different words but only wanted the first one.

— What was that word?

— I can't remember what I said. We worked through a whole list of words, and eventually, I got to a point where I didn't associate any negative meaning with the word “failure” anymore. I realised that failure is just a part of the learning process, and that is how you become successful. You have to fail to learn and grow. I am not afraid to start something new because I know that even if I die, I will learn from it and use it to improve. I don't want to look back on my life and regret not trying, so I am taking risks and pushing through any obstacles that come my way.

Photo: Paula's personal archive

— Let's play the association game one more time. What word comes to your mind when you hear the word fear? Not that, Paula, the first one!

— Embrace.

— Are you afraid of something while thinking about your journey?

— I have a healthy level of shitting my pants. You have to have a certain level of nervousness and a healthy level of fear. That is what is going to keep you aware. Being overly confident can cause you to put your blinders on, making you unprepared for when something scary happens. It is going to take you by such a surprise that you are going to fall apart.

My coach and I discussed the upcoming ride and the challenges I may encounter. There will be many things to deal with — weather, people, cars, environment, everything. However, I try not to overthink about it and remain positive. I focus on the tasks that must be done immediately — buying a plane ticket, getting my bike from A to B, arranging cards, etc. I don't want to overthink how scary the whole thing is. I want to be positive, you know?

I will have bad days and share them with the world. If people only see the good days, they will think the challenge was easy. I want people to know how tough it can be and that I finished, got the job done, and accomplished my goal. And I did it all with a smile and a positive attitude. When you approach things with a smile, it can make life a little bit easier.

Photo: Paula's personal archive

— So you know how the body works. Can you predict what will happen to you when you are at your final destination?

— I am going on holiday. Sleep for a month. Everybody talks about what happens next, how you will feel, etc. I don't know; I haven't experienced it yet. I don't want to have the blues.

But I had a plan! I knew exactly what I was going to do next. In general, I planned on coming back to Dubai and building a state-of-the-art injury prevention therapy gym. Immediately after my journey, I wanted to travel to Italy and visit my coach, Ian, who lives in Garda, Lake Garda. The Giro d'Italia has a stage that goes straight past his house. So, I wanted to watch the Giro d'Italia with my coach and have a holiday.

I am taking my journey to create a foundation that will work with disadvantaged kids in disadvantaged communities. I want to help them understand how to build a life for themselves and give them the means and opportunities to make a life they are proud of. I want to be a positive role model and member of society in their communities and help uplift the youth to uplift the community.

— Sounds good! And now tell me about the luggage you are going to take.

— Not much. I will pack cycling clothes, something to sleep in, something to dry yourself with after showers, and maybe one comfortable outfit for non-cycling times.

— Where are you going to stop and stay?

— We plan on going camping and will take any opportunity that presents itself. Whether staying in a hostel or checking into a hotel, we are open to it. However, we expect to sleep in the back of the truck for a few nights.

— Do you have some essential applications you use?

— So, Komoot is a good one. This app does route planning for biking, whether you want to do a road bike, bikepacking journey, hiking, or whatever. Another app I use is Windy. It provides information on wind direction, heat, and other weather-related data.

— Cycling, like any sport, can teach valuable life lessons. Did you learn anything from cycling?

— Cycling has taught me there is always a little more in the tank. There is always more to give when you think you are at your very end. And the end is never the end; there is always another day.

Of course, you need to listen to your body. If I need to rest, my coach allows me to rest. But at the same time, he knows where we can do a little bit more, where I can push a little more, and he can squeeze a little more out of me. There is always a little bit more. I think that is the same with everything that we do. There is always more in the tank.

And the other thing is you have to achieve your goals independently. If you desire something, you have to go out and get it. Some people ask me why I don’t ride in groups. I always reply that my journey is going to be by myself. 99.99 per cent of the ride is me on the bike by myself. I need to be comfortable with myself and understand that I have the strength to push myself forward. Although I have supportive people, I can also find the strength to keep going.

— Mark Beaumont, who cycled around the world in 79 days, once said: “This has been, without doubt, the most punishing challenge I have ever put my body and mind through.” We can imagine what happens to the body, but what happens to the mind during such journeys?

— There are times when you are on the bike, and you are thinking about a lot of things. It might start with, like, what will I have for lunch? What am I going to do here? What am I going to do there? And then you start digging deeper — why am I doing this to myself? Why am I putting myself through this?

We have talked about that negative mindset. That is where you have to be careful about allowing that negative mindset to kick in and start bringing out your little inner demons. We all have those little inner demons like: “You are not good enough; you can't do this.” Or like: “Who do you think you are?” I think that is my biggest one. Who do I think I am to take on something like this? What makes me think that I could do this? And you know, I think I can.

I am nobody. I am not an Elon Musk brainy thing. I am not a pro athlete. I am nobody. I am just this chick who has this crazy idea and decided to go and see if she could do it. She is a crazy human being who has decided that enough is enough and wants to improve her life. So she will do it whether people choose to follow or not.

— On what bike?

— On a Specialized Tarmac.

— As we know, you postponed your journey. You posted about losing your sponsorship a few weeks ago but later deleted it. Why did you delete the post?

— I deleted it simply because I didn’t want to appear angry and bitter. I was angry and extremely hurt because there was every opportunity to explain why, as a sponsor, they had to back out, and yet it all happened at the very last moment. It wasn’t done in person, and no apology was given. I was told via WhatsApp.

I was also confronted by some people who told me I should stop “blaming” my sponsor when “all” they were providing was a second bike, ⁠spare parts, ⁠a flight, ⁠and 10 per cent of their company's profits for five months. On top of all this, whilst there was no guarantee, they did work in the auto industry and had contacts and said they would try and help acquire a support vehicle; however, this was never guaranteed.

There are some other things also, like my sponsor not being in communication and not holding his marketing staff accountable, taking charge of the social media and blowing the ride up so we achieved a bigger reach not only promoting my ride but his businesses also because at the end of the day isn’t that why companies sponsor events such as mine? For the free promotion and advertising.

I was extremely hurt as I felt like I had let everyone down. My whole team and everyone who has shown their love and support for me. Those who tell me how proud they are of me. Those who send me messages give me strength. Suddenly, I felt like I was in a black hole and wanted the world to swallow me up. I felt I had not done enough to ensure everything was in place and secure, then realised I hadn’t. You see, even though I have been planning this for four years. It has been me and only me trying to obtain sponsorship, falling on deaf ears, and emails not being seen or read. Not knowing anything about how to promote myself or my ride. So when the sponsor approached me and said they wanted to support me, I immediately felt like the weight of the world was taken off my shoulders, and I could concentrate again on the task at hand. I deleted my post because I didn’t want people to get the wrong impression about why I was upset.

— Do you know why the sponsor refused to support your journey?

— Yes, I know the exact reasons. Unfortunately for them, as per what they told me. Their financial situation took a serious turn for the worse. That is also a reason I deleted the post. I genuinely felt hurt for them.

— How do you feel now?

— I have to be honest, now and again, I think it absolutely stinks, especially since that feeling that I should be cycling right now will creep over me, but that drives me not to stop pushing forward. I am revamping my whole sponsorship deck, making everything as professional as possible. I will come back stronger. We will start in 2025 with stronger sponsorship support.

I am excited and determined not to let this minor setback stop me. I have the best team of professionals as my support crew, starting with my coach, who is an absolute rock. This didn’t phase them at all. Everyone is standing by me and sticking with me.

by Alexandra Mansilla

Between Two Continents On a Bike In 100 Days. Interview With Paula Ralph

4 Feb 2024

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