As the new year approaches, many of us feel the familiar pull to set resolutions. There is something seductive about the idea of a blank page, promising that this time we will do it right — we will start fresh, correct our past mistakes and finally become the “better” version of ourselves. And while the energy of a symbolic new beginning can give you a helpful nudge, it doesn’t always carry you very far. You start the year full of enthusiasm, determined to overhaul your life in one go, until real life sets in. Eventually, you get overloaded, with work piling up and routines wobbling, and suddenly the excitement shifts to frustration. Before you know it, the grand resolution is abandoned, and the whole thing starts to feel like a personal failure rather than a natural setback.

Resolutions themselves aren’t the problem, but the mindset we bring to them often is. When the goal is perfection, even the smallest misstep feels like a disaster. One skipped workout or unhealthy meal, and we convince ourselves we have ruined everything. This all-or-nothing thinking makes change feel rigid and unsustainable.

Perfectionism often disguises itself as ambition, but it can actually be self-sabotaging. Instead of supporting us, it loads every new habit with pressure and expectation. And when the reality of daily life inevitably pushes back — when you are tired, busy, overwhelmed — that pressure turns into disappointment. But you aren't failing, your mindset is.

Real progress comes from doing small things consistently over time. It isn’t the result of enormous effort in a short burst. You don’t need flawless streaks, perfect routines or colour-coded habit trackers, you just need to keep showing up, even imperfectly. Missing a day doesn’t break the whole thing, and it doesn’t prove that you are incapable of commitment. When consistency becomes the goal rather than perfection, the pressure drops, and progress becomes far more sustainable.

The idea that you need January 1, Monday morning, a birthday, or even a full moon to change your life is comforting, but ultimately unhelpful. It suggests that change is something external that must be granted to you, rather than something you already have the power to choose.

The truth is inconvenient but freeing: you can shift your mindset on a random Wednesday afternoon. You can try something new today, stop something today, adjust something today, without your calendar’s permission. Waiting for the “perfect” moment is just another form of perfectionism dressed up as preparation.

Ambition is healthy, but self-punishment isn't. When the desire to “do better” turns into pressure to be flawless, you set yourself up for near-inevitable disappointment. Life is full of ups and downs (a cliché, yes, but it is just the way it is). You will get tired, bored, or distracted. Progress will wobble at times and motivation will fade, but none of that means you have failed.

Self-compassion isn’t indulgence, it is a basic necessity. As long as you aren't using it as an excuse to sabotage your own progress, being kind to yourself creates the emotional space you need to try again (and again). Choosing to stay disciplined and continue despite the obstacles is what really makes you stronger — not starting on a symbolic date.