The world doesn’t quite feel the same right now. Adults have their own ways of processing it: scrolling the news, talking it through with friends, trying to keep routines steady. But beside us there are also children, and they sense these shifts much faster than we sometimes realise.

We all know the rule we hear every time we board a plane: put your own oxygen mask on first, and then help the child next to you. And once the first wave of reaction has settled, this may be exactly the moment to think about them.

How do you answer sensitive questions? How do you say enough — but not too much? Should you stay silent until the child asks their own questions? And perhaps the biggest question of all: what do you actually say?

Disclaimer: The recommendations in this article are based on guidance from psychologists and general advice published by UNICEF.

Some adults choose a “wait-and-see approach” — doing nothing in particular and hoping the situation will resolve itself. With children, however, this strategy rarely works.

The biggest misconception is believing that children don’t notice what is going on. In reality, they do. They pick up on changes in mood, in conversations, in routines — and naturally begin to look for explanations. And if adults don’t provide them, children will often try to make sense of things on their own, sometimes quietly and without saying a word.

The American Psychological Association notes that part of the difficulty is that many children don't yet fully understand geography, distance, or scale. When something is happening in a neighbouring country, they may struggle to understand what that actually means for them. How far away is it?

Without that sense of distance, news can feel immediate and personal. Children may begin asking questions: What do the sounds mean? When the news says that air defence systems are working, what does that mean for their safety? How do these systems work in the first place? When these questions remain unanswered, the brain often fills the gaps with worst-case scenarios. Without context, the boundaries between “far away” and “right here” can easily blur.

Another point is highlighted by clinical psychologist Eileen Kennedy-Moore. She explains that in times of uncertainty, children often act like emotional mirrors. They closely observe the adults around them — listening to conversations in the kitchen, noticing tone of voice, tension, or distraction.

If parents appear anxious or unsettled, children may assume something dangerous is happening, even if no one has explained it directly. And even when adults try to hide their emotions, children often sense that something is wrong.

So if silence isn’t the answer, what is?

The best place to start is simple: talk.

In tense situations, balance is key. Leaving a child without information can increase tension and anxiety, but overwhelming them with too many details can be just as harmful. Here are a few steps that may help.

Give children the opportunity to talk and listen carefully to their questions. Through these conversations, you will begin to understand what they are aware of — and what is worrying them most.

What exactly are they afraid of? Sometimes the fear is quite simple. Other times it may feel overwhelming. Let them say it out loud. Rather than immediately reassuring them that their fear is unfounded, try first to understand where it is coming from.

In tense situations, some children may not only feel anxious but also experience a sense of guilt. When adults around them seem stressed, they may wonder whether it is still acceptable for them to play, laugh, or spend time with friends. It is important to reassure them that it is. Children aren't responsible for solving the crisis around them. Their role is simply to remain children — to play, learn, and feel safe.

Whenever possible, talk during the day rather than late in the evening, when worries can feel heavier. Let children know they can return to you with questions at any time — even if they ask the same ones again. Keeping communication open helps them feel supported.

Child psychiatrist Harold S. Koplewicz notes that conversations should always be adapted to the child’s age. Younger children benefit from simple explanations that avoid complex political details. Older children, on the other hand, may need more context in order to make sense of what they are hearing.

Important note: you may not always have the answer straight away — and that is completely fine. It is perfectly acceptable to say that you need time to find out more, or even to look for the answer together.

As adults, we often know what helps us cope with stress — shifting our attention through movement, sport, or simple activities. Our instinct may be to encourage children to do the same: go outside, play a game, stay busy. But pushing too hard can sometimes have the opposite effect.

Clinical psychologist Eileen Kennedy-Moore explains that pressure can actually increase a child’s stress. Instead of insisting on activities, it is far more helpful to offer gentle options and allow the child to choose when they are ready.

Sometimes what children need most is simply time and space to process what they are feeling.