Without Darkness, a Star Cannot Shine. Lughass Interview

by Alexandra Mansilla

بدون ظلام، لا يمكن للنجم أن يتألق. مقابلة مع لوغاس

1 Mar 2024

Once, Ghassan Luqman, also known as Lughass, posted a photo from Sole DXB and instantly gained recognition as a well-known photographer. However, what lies behind the photos, fashion clothes, and creativity? A challenging journey, even to this day. We had a conversation with Lughass to delve deeper into his life.

— So, Lughass, let's start from the beginning. You were born in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, right?

— Okay! So, I was born in Jeddah, lived there for five years, then moved to Riyadh and lived there for another five years. Then we moved to Dubai, and I stayed in Dubai until 2015 when I was sent to study in the UK. I spent a total of three years there and then came back at the end of 2018. And I have been in Dubai ever since. So that is the brief story of my life.

Actually, it is hard to answer the question of where I am from. Originally, I am Yemeni, but I have never been there and do not know much about it. If I were to visit, it would be obvious that I am not from there due to the different ways of life and certain aspects of the culture I am unfamiliar with.

In Dubai, nobody has any idea that I am not local. I went to school here and studied with Emirati children; I know everything about them. I also lived in Saudi Arabia for the first 10 years of my life, so I know how the people speak, think, and act there.

As a child, I was taught to hide my Yemeni heritage. This was because, after the Communist war in Yemen, many Yemenis fled and sought refuge in Saudi Arabia. Unfortunately, they weren’t always seen to be equal to other backgrounds. I couldn’t understand why it was happening. Why that Lebanese person doesn’t have to hide their origin? Egyptian — the same. Algerian — too. Some people whose native language isn’t English can easily speak English with an accent. It is not a problem. Why are we a problem? I asked my mum about this once. She could not provide a clear answer.

People of Yemeni descent were considered inferior, uneducated, and incapable of doing certain jobs. This attitude made it difficult for me, as a Yemeni, to be accepted and integrated into society without hiding my heritage.

I do want to go somewhere new. I don't want to go to Southeast Asia for the eighth time. I don't want to shoot the rice fields in Bali again. I want to shoot the Eiffel Tower. I want to shoot the Duomo in Milan. I want to go to Amalfi Coast. I want to see The Netherlands and Amsterdam. I want to see London again from a different perspective than when I was a student. But I depend on papers. The biggest challenge in this situation is staying motivated and driven even though it feels like all doors are closed in your face.

It is rather complicated, and even close friends can’t understand it. They just never come over. What is a Visa? What do you mean? Is it for free? No, it is not that simple, brother. It takes numerous pieces of paper. Don’t forget to add 5,000 AED to it — and there won’t be a guarantee that I will get a visa.

— You moved from country to country when you were a child. What difficulties did you face?

— It is not easy having fun when you grow up moving from one place to another. You don't get to know your neighbours or the kids in your neighbourhood that well because you keep moving every few years. Secondly, moving so frequently can be quite challenging, especially when moving to a new country where you must adapt. I experienced this when I first moved to Saudi Arabia. I was the only non-Saudi kid in my class, along with one other Syrian kid. Our names would be highlighted in yellow on the class register to show we were foreigners. One day, when the other foreign kid was absent, the teacher asked: “Where's the other foreigner? Who's not here? Okay, I only have one today.” At that time, I was only seven years old. So, you always have to have a coping mechanism. You have to have a defence mechanism. And to deal with the feeling of not belonging.

You couldn't play sports or join the football team because you were not from there, and nobody wanted to hang out with you after school. Nobody wanted you to be a part of their team. Even if you were good at something, you would still face backlash. I was very good at sports and played at a high level, but I still faced backlash. These were the main challenges of moving around - you never really felt like you belonged.

However, I am grateful to the UAE government for allowing us to call this beautiful place our home and giving us all the opportunities we have. But there was still a question of where to go when our visa ends. Losing a job was not just about losing a source of income for my family; it was losing a place to be. Everything rested on that.

Photo: Nikita Berezhnoy

— And here we are at the point of asking you a question: what is your family like?

— I have an older brother and two younger sisters. My family was very disciplined and systematic. My parents worked really hard, and Dad often travelled for work. My Mum would be the general commander in the house. We had to wake up at a specific time, eat, and sleep at a specific. We had to wear what we were given, cut our hair in a specific way, study at a specific time, and stop studying at a specified time. If we didn’t like the dinner, we didn’t have dinner and went hungry. That is how it was. “I don't want to do it” was not a choice.

I don't know if I can speak for the whole culture, but in my family, there has always been a clear boundary between children and parents. We were prohibited from being sarcastic or making jokes at our parents' expense. While our parents could make jokes with us, we couldn't reciprocate. I couldn't even joke around by calling my parents by their first names. There was a strict hierarchy of respect that we had to adhere to. Even now, at 27, my household still has an element of formality. When we enter the house, we have to greet our parents by kissing them on the forehead and right hand before we can say anything to them. It is just how things work, like in the military, where you have to salute your commander. It is interesting because not everyone has this dynamic. There are also many differences in beliefs and interests between my parents and us as children, so we had to be careful and cautious not to cross any lines or offend anyone.

I wouldn't say it is good or bad. In that scenario, certain patterns can be instilled in kids through fear, caution or memorising without actually understanding why they need to do certain things. An important part of parenting is explaining the reason behind the actions to the child. My dad sometimes did that, but not my mum. She would just tell us to eat our vegetables without explaining why they are good for our bodies or how they provide essential nutrients. It was a non-negotiable rule without any explanation.

— And how is your relationship with your mum now?

— I love my mom with all my heart. If you were to ask anyone in the industry about me today, they would tell you that whenever I attend PR events and receive gifts, I always take something for my mom. I hope that whatever they offer me, they can put her initials on it because, in Arabic culture, you should always hold a special place in your heart for your parents.

If they had not treated me the way they did, I would not be the person I am today. I am grateful for the person I have become and for the opportunity to share my story with others.

— Thanks for sharing. I often encounter talented people without higher education. And you are the same. Why?

— My grandfather was the editor-in-chief of the first three English-speaking magazines in Saudi Arabia: Malayalam News, Arab News, and Gulf News. He graduated from Colombia University in New York with top honours across all majors and degrees. He interviewed famous personalities like Mahatma Gandhi, the Last Emperor of China, and John F Kennedy. He did it for 59 years. He was a very academic man. He read over 12,000 books and published three; his main focus was education. He made sure all five of his children got a degree.

My dad is a finance man who has worked in the field for almost 30 years. Education is vital to our family; my grandfather instilled that in us. When it came to picking my IGCSE subjects, my dad chose them for me. Again, I came from a household where you do what your parents tell you to do. You should do chemistry. You should do the math. You should do business and economics. Why? Because that is how you will be well-rounded. “But I don't want to do chemistry!” “Nope, you should”. “But I don't need it!” “Yes, you do.” “What should I study at University? Can I do film?” “Absolutely not. You're gonna do economics.” And then they sell you an idea. I even did a four-month internship at Roland Berger, one of the biggest consulting firms in the world.

When I got to the UK, I did an economics degree for two years. Unfortunately, I failed an exam that was deemed to be critical. The university had a policy that allowed students to take the exam only once, and those who failed were removed from the course. Later, I discovered that the dean of students was involved in a scandal where he was selling exam papers to wealthy students. As a result of the scandal, I was allowed to re-enroll in a different degree program.

Three of my five uncles and aunts are lawyers. My father was also a lawyer and had an operating law firm at the time. It would have been foolish not to choose to work there since it would have been a great opportunity. But we didn't. I knew that my uncle was working as a freelance lawyer while my aunt was a professor of law with a PhD. However, she was not practising law.

I attended a degree course where, during a lecture on European Union law, my professor made a statement that stood out to me. In lecture seven, he blatantly told the class that the first and foremost requirement to become a barrister or solicitor under European Union law is to either be born a UK citizen or a European Union citizen.

So, I am just sitting in class, thinking, “Well, that's me out.” Just because of paperwork, they have already eliminated 60 per cent of the potential jobs in the industry. And mind you, we have yet to reach the point where they consider my credentials, grades, or qualifications. This is just non-negotiable. All right, what is left in the other 40 per cent? Legal consultant? Great, but what is the acceptance rate for jobs like that? A mere 3 per cent. And how many more years of education would I have to endure? Minimum five, maximum seven. Quick maths: I will be 36–37 before I receive my first-ever salary. No, it is impossible for me.

We have to be realistic. I lost all interest, you know, I didn't care. I just didn't. I didn't see a point, and I am the type of person you cannot convince me to do something if I don't want to do it. So, I decided not to go on with that education. I had no pressure. I had no anxiety. I did not care to disappoint anybody because I knew I was on my way out. So, I looked the professor in the eye and told him: “In lecture seven, you said the first and foremost requirement is XYZ. I am not even capable of going to Europe for a weekend getaway with my classmates and dorm mates. Why would I do that?” He stopped, looked at me and said: “Mr. Luqman, I have nothing to say to you. You're free to go.” And I never went back.

Photo: Nikita Berezhnoy

— Once, you mentioned experiencing chronic depression. Do you have any thoughts on why it happened?

— I believe I understand the reasons. I grew up in a household where my parents' opinion was the be-all and end-all. Their opinion, approval, and consent were the number one priority, first and foremost. The target you needed to achieve was always the satisfaction of your parents. And I didn’t tell them that I quit my education. Living with the burden of such a secret that I couldn't disclose to anybody took a toll on me. It ate me, and I didn't know this. It reached a point of lack of sleep and weight fluctuation. My weight would go up. There were times I'd train aggressively and gain seven or eight kilos, only to drop back down to almost an anorexic state.

— Your body reacted.

— It definitely reacted. In several interviews, I have been asked about the biggest challenge of doing what I do. My response has always been that pursuing what you love is difficult, knowing that your two biggest heroes despise your work. I would often sit in meetings with my manager or clients, and they would criticise my work. I didn't care much about their opinion. But if my parents said something negative about my work, it would break me for weeks.

— You mentioned that you spoke to someone who told you that you were unwell during that time. Who was that?

— Yeah, I had no idea that I was sick. I just thought that those things in my head were just who I was. But I am blessed to have friends who care.

— And I suppose it was considered a shame for you to even think about psychologists? Because it wasn't acceptable in your culture.

— And because of the boundary that I had with my parents. I didn't even know my own mum was going for treatment. But for me, it was a shame to go to such specialists. It was not something I could discuss with anybody.

— So, that post “Without darkness, a star cannot shine” is about your background and all the difficulties you have to cope with.

— Yes. Any difficulty in life is necessary. You need to go down to go up. You need to experience sickness to appreciate the value of health. And you need to be poor to know the value of being rich. Life is a series of ups and downs, and accepting this is important. Once we accept that life is full of challenges and blessings, we can find peace and contentment.

— You mentioned that everyone needs a “room to breathe”. What is this “room” for you?

— Skateboarding was a big outlet for me for many years, not just because I enjoyed the activity but also because of the community around it. It was so different from anything else I had experienced in my life. Nobody cared about your background or what clothes you wore. Nobody cared if you didn't speak English very well. It was all about coming together and sharing a common love for skating. We had beginners and experts, young and old, and everyone was treated equally. We would all sit down together and enjoy tea and sandwiches, and it was a great time. There was no discrimination, and everyone helped each other out. It was a safe space where I felt like I could be myself without any judgment. When I was on my board, time would stand still, and everything else would fade away. It was a great way to forget my life's stresses or worries. As we got older, some of us started getting into filming and photography, trying to capture the best shots we could. But at the end of the day, it was all about having fun and enjoying the moment.

— Why didn't you show your face on Instagram earlier?

— At that time, you were talking about me doing something against my family's will. I didn't want anyone to know who I was. I didn't want anything to tie me back to my restrictions, my family, or anything like that. I didn't want them to be able to know what I was doing. I didn’t want anyone to know my nationality. I didn't want people to know my name or my age.

— Also, you have photos of “invisible” people. They wear clothes but don’t have a body. Could you please explain this?

— It is a technique that I learned from somebody who was mentoring me. It really resonated with me because it allowed me to be a character without being the character. It gave me presence while still being absent. I could wear anything, be anywhere or do whatever it was that I wanted to be and do. Because I tried to hide who I was, it was like a metaphor for what I was doing. I wanted people to know or see what I could do, not who I am. My nationality, age, and name were irrelevant. I didn't want people to know anything except that this guy was a talented and experienced photographer.

While it is challenging to stand out in today's world, where content is surface-level and frequent, I hope that one day, people will be able to appreciate the complexity and depth of my work. I put a lot of effort into incorporating messages into my work that most people do not easily pick up. It can be difficult to grab people's attention on social media, where most people's attention spans are short, but I have faith that my work will be recognised one day, even if it is not in my lifetime. I draw inspiration from artists like Bhaskia, who was initially not understood but later recognised for his art's depth and complexity.

إنستغرام: @lughass

— ما الذي تستمتع به في التصوير أكثر؟

— القدرة على التقاط لحظة زمنية لن تتكرر والاحتفاظ بها إلى الأبد. إن هذه هي قوة التصوير الفوتوغرافي.

— هل علمك التصوير شيئاً ما؟

— علمتني التصوير الفوتوغرافي العديد من الأشياء. لقد أظهر لي أنه يمكنك تحويل الرؤية في ذهنك إلى واقع مع الجهد الكافي. كما علمتني أنه لا شيء مستحيل. من خلال التصوير الفوتوغرافي، قابلت وجلست مع أشخاص لم أكن سألتقي بهم خلاف ذلك. لو كنت قد اتبعت مسارًا تقليديًا، لكنت مجرد محامٍ آخر في حي مالي. ومع ذلك، سمح لي التصوير الفوتوغرافي بأن أكون على الجانب الآخر من المعادلة، لأكون مساوياً لأولئك الذين أعجب بهم. لقد تعلمت أن الأشخاص الذين نعجب بهم ليسوا بالضرورة غير عاديين. بعضهم مجرد مجتهدين، وآخرون محظوظين، وبعضهم موهوبون أو في مواقع مناسبة. لقد إنسانني التصوير الفوتوغرافي وجعلني أدرك أن أي شيء في الحياة يمكن تحقيقه.

ما الذي يجعلني مختلفًا عن أي مصور آخر؟ هل أنا الأكثر إلمامًا بأضواء التصوير أو الأكثر تأهيلاً في العالم؟ بالتأكيد لا. أنا فقط أؤمن حقًا بنفسي وع عملي. إذا لم أؤمن بنفسي؟ هذه القاعدة تنطبق على أي جانب من جوانب الحياة. إذا لم يؤمن شخص ما بما يقوله، فإن ذلك يظهر.

— والآن، سؤال غبي لمصور. كم عدد الكاميرات التي لديك؟

— خمسة!

— أي واحدة هي المفضلة لديك؟

— ربما كاميرتي البولارويد. أحبها؛ لأنها تعطيك ذاكرة ملموسة يمكنك الاحتفاظ بها. ولا يمكنك حقًا العبث بالإعدادات. ما تحصل عليه في اللحظة هو ما تحصل عليه.

— هل هناك أي مشاريع تود الإعلان عنها؟

— أنا حالياً أعمل على أول معرض مستقل لي، والذي من المقرر أن يقام في شهر مارس. لا زلنا نقوم بتfinalizing التفاصيل مع المكان والمؤسسة المضيفة. بمجرد أن نكمل كل شيء، أقوم بالإعلان قريبًا.

أيضًا، هدفي هو السفر هذا العام. لذا، إذا سارت الأمور كما هو مخطط، أود أن أزور أوروبا وأستكشف بعض الأماكن الجميلة.

— هل يمكنك أن تخبرني قليلاً المزيد عن معرضك؟ ماذا سيكون هناك؟

— أنا أخطط لعرض خمس قطع من الأعمال المتعلقة بالثقافة الإماراتية. ستدور هذه القطع حول مواضيع معينة، وهدفي النهائي هو بيعها والتبرع بأكبر قدر ممكن من العائدات للأعمال الخيرية. أعتقد أن استخدام عملي لإحداث تأثير هو أقل ما يمكنني فعله.

— لديك أيضًا قناة على يوتيوب تحتوي على بعض الفيديوهات.

— لذا، عند الحديث عن الندم، الشيء الوحيد الذي أندم عليه في حياتي هو توقف يوتيوب. كنت في الثانية عشرة من عمري في ذلك الوقت وكان عليّ موازنة إنهاء المدرسة ولعب كرة القدم المحترفة. أنهيت المدرسة في الساعة 3:00 عصرًا وكان عليّ أن أكون في النادي بحلول الساعة 3:30 عصرًا للتدريب حتى الساعة 8:30 مساءً. كان جدولاً صارمًا، ولكن عند النظر إلى الوراء، أدركت أن النظر إلى الوراء جميل. يبدو أن كل شيء بسيط جدًا في hindsight.

لم يكن هناك أي طريقة لأتوقع القيمة المحتملة أو التقدم الذي كان يمكن أن يأخذه يوتيوب. لم أستطع رؤية أن يوتيوب سيصبح ناجحًا كما كان.

— هل ستعيد إطلاقه؟

— كما تعلم، هناك خوارزمية حالية. يجب عليك أن تنشر على الأقل ثلاث مرات في الأسبوع مع مقاطع فيديو تدوم على الأقل 20 دقيقة. بالإضافة إلى ذلك، تحتاج إلى تحرير الفيديوهات لأن قنوات يوتيوب تتطلب الكثير من العمل بعد الإنتاج. ببساطة ليس لدي الوقت لذلك.

لقد كان دائمًا حلمي أن أشارك وأتحدث وأخذ الناس في جولة يومية لإظهار ما يتطلبه الأمر للقيام بما أفعله. يمكن أن أكون أيضًا دافعًا للفتى اليمني أو المصور العربي الإبداعي القادم الذي يتأثر بعملي ويستطيع أن يأخذه إلى المستوى التالي. يمكنهم أن يحققوا النجاح لأنفسهم ويقدمون لنا، ومجتمعنا، بطريقة إيجابية. إن شاء الله، هذا هو الشيء الذي أود القيام به.

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