سلسلة عازم قد نظمت العديد من المعارض وهي الآن أمينة ومديرة في فيرتي المعاصر. لقد كانت حياتها مغمورة بالفن منذ طفولتها، محاطة بفنانين رائعين وأعمالهم. يبدو الأمر ساحرًا، أليس كذلك؟ نعم، هو كذلك. ومع ذلك، كانت هناك فترة مرت بها سلسلة عسف مع اضطراب الأكل.
قد يبدو اضطراب الأكل شيئًا يمكن التغلب عليه بسرعة، ولكن في الحقيقة، يكون عندما يسيطر الطعام تمامًا على حياتك، مما يجعل من الصعب الانفصال عنه. يمكن أن يستمر لسنوات، وحتى عندما تظن أنك بخير، قد تبقى الاعتماد على الطعام.
نجحت سلسلة في التغلب على اضطرابها، وتحدثنا عن ذلك بتفصيل خلال محادثتنا.
ملاحظة: شكرًا لعلي شعبان على الصورة أعلاه.
— سلسلة، أنت إيطالية سورية وولدت في نيجيريا. يا له من مزيج!
— نعم، قضيت طفولتي في نيجيريا. والدي أصله لبناني سوري، لكنه من الجيل الرابع في نيجيريا. هاجرت عائلته إلى نيجيريا منذ سنوات واستقرت هناك، وما زال والدي يعيش هناك حتى اليوم. التقى والدي مع والدتي هناك، وعاشت والدتي هناك لمدة 25 عامًا.
أنا أعتبر ذلك البلد عزيزًا على قلبي لأن سنوات تكويني قضيتها هناك، ولدي العديد من الذكريات الجميلة. ومع ذلك، كان مكانًا صعب العيش مقارنةً بمكان مثل دبي. لم يكن آمنًا - كانت هناك أعمال شغب في ذلك الوقت، مما خلق بيئة خطيرة جدًا. وفي النهاية، انتهز والدي الفرصة للانتقال إلى الإمارات. بعد انتقالنا، انتقلت والدتي من الاستثمار في العقارات إلى إدارة استثمارات الفن. انتقلنا إلى إيطاليا عندما بدأت في إدارة مسيرة بعض الفنانين الإيطاليين المشهورين والتركيز على مشاريع متعلقة بالفن.
في وقت لاحق، درست لمدة ثلاث سنوات في لندن في سنترال سانت مارتينز، ثم عدت إلى دبي، التي أصبحت قاعدتي منذ حوالي 20 عامًا. كنت أعود دائمًا إلى هنا. لذا، إذا سألتني أين منزلي، سأقول بالتأكيد دبي. أعرفها عن كثب، حيث قضيت سنوات عديدة أشاهدها تنمو إلى ما هي عليه اليوم. أنا متحمسة جدًا لأننا افتتحنا معرضنا هنا، وأنا سعيدة لأنني لا أزال أعيش هنا.
مع ذلك، غالبًا ما أصف نفسي بأنني مشوشة ثقافيًا. أشعر بارتباط قوي بإرثي الإيطالي، حيث نشأت مع والدتي الإيطالية، وأتحدث الإيطالية بطلاقة، وأزور إيطاليا بشكل متكرر. أنا قريبة من عائلتي الإيطالية ولكنني أيضًا فضولية جدًا بشأن جذوري العربية. معظم الفنانين الذين نمثلهم في المعرض من العالم العربي، والعمل معهم لا يلهمني فحسب، بل يعمق أيضًا رغبتي في استكشاف هذه الدول التي هي جزء مني، ولكنني لم أرتبط بها بالكامل من قبل.
— أستطيع أن أرى ذلك من حركاتك!
نعم، أسلوبي في التصرف إيطالي جدًا!
— وأيضًا، كانت هناك فترة في حياتك كنت فيها مدربة شخصية، أليس كذلك؟
— نعم، كنت كذلك. درست الفن في الجامعة وكنت أعلم دائمًا أنني أريد أن أكون متورطة في الفنون. عملت مع بعض المعارض خلال وبعد الجامعة أيضًا. ثم أصابت COVID، وشعرت أنني في حالة من الضياع. كنت في مرحلة أتأمل ما أريد القيام به. كان لدي دائمًا شغف باللياقة البدنية؛ لقد بدأت التدريب منذ أن كنت في الثالثة عشر من عمري، أمارس رياضات وتمارين مختلفة. أصبح ذلك سبيلي للهروب وساعدني أيضًا على التغلب على اضطراب الأكل الخاص بي. لذا، أردت أن أجرّب ذلك - لماذا لا؟ وجدت وسيلة لجعل نفسي سعيدة، وأريد حقًا أن أشارك ذلك، خاصة مع النساء، وأساعدهن على التغلب على أي تحديات يواجهنها بطريقة صحية وشاملة. درست هرمونات النساء وتعلمت أن لدينا أربع مراحل على مدى الشهر ترتبط بدورتنا الشهرية. ترتفع وتنخفض هرموناتنا، ويجب أن تتناول الطعام وتتمرن بطريقة تساهم في هرموناتك لأنك لا تعمل كما يعمل الرجل. دورة هرمونات الرجل أقصر بكثير وأكثر بساطة من دورة هرمونات المرأة. نحن مختلفون.
يجب على النساء الانتباه إلى الاستروجين والبروجيستيرون، الهرمونات التي تتقلب طوال الدورة الشهرية وتؤثر على مستويات الطاقة والمزاج. العمل في انسجام مع هذه التغيرات الهرمونية، وليس ضدها، يمكن أن يعزز الرفاهية. على سبيل المثال، الانخراط في تمارين عالية الشدة قبل فترة دورتك قد يتعارض مع إيقاعات جسمك الطبيعية. من الأفضل اختيار تمارين لطيفة وبسيطة خلال هذا الوقت. كان فهم هذه الفروق الفسيولوجية والتكيف معها نقطة تركيز رئيسية بالنسبة لي.
كانت تجربة مثيرة للاهتمام لأنه في نهاية اليوم، في كل صناعة، أنت تتعامل مع الناس. كمدربة شخصية، تحاول أيضًا نفسيًا جعل الشخص يحب التمارين وتغيير رؤيته لعلاقته بالطعام، وهو مشابه لما يحدث في المبيعات.
كنت في مرحلة أردت فيها تصفية ذهني والتركيز على شغف آخر لدي. خلال هذا الوقت، كانت والدتي تعمل على خطة لفتح معرض، مستفيدة من جميع اتصالاتها بالفنانين العظماء. كانت تهدف أخيرًا إلى إنشاء مكان دائم خاص بها. عندما شاركتني خططها وطلبت مني أن أكون جزءًا منها، كنت متحمسة جدًا.
لقد أسست المبادئ التوجيهية وراء المعرض واختارت بعناية الفنانين الذي سنقوم بفتحهم والمشاريع التي سنتناولها وبرمجة المعرض. ثم، غمرنا في العمل وبدأنا. كان ذلك ما زال خلال COVID-19، لذا كان مخاطرة كبيرة. افتتحنا معرضنا في عام 2021.
— بالعودة إلى طفولتك، ذكرت أنك كنت محاطة بالفن، مثل المتاحف والمعارض. هل يمكننا استكشاف بعض الذكريات؟ هل هناك فنانين أو أعمال فنية معينة من طفولتك لا تزال تذكرها بوضوح؟
— أود أن أقول إنه في نيجيريا، حيث نشأت، كنا كثيرًا ما نذهب إلى الأسواق حيث باع الفنانون أعمالهم. كان الفن واضحًا أفريقيًا، وحتى اليوم، لا زلت أشعر بالارتباط به. لدي حب خاص للفن الأفريقي المعاصر.
عندما يتعلق الأمر بالمعلمين، أتذكر بوضوح استعراض الكتالوجات والكتب التي تعرض فنانين مثل كارافاجيو، الذي كنت أحببت بشغف. كان فنانًا آخر جعلي أرغب في معرفة المزيد عن الفن هو دالي. درست السريالية بشكل مكثف لأنها كانت الحركة التي أدهشتني أكثر. كانت الأعمال الفنية الحلمية التي أنشأها هؤلاء الفنانين تشعر وكأنها هروب من الواقع، وهو بالضبط ما كانت عليه. مع مرور الوقت، درست أيضًا التعبيرية التجريدية والحركات الأخرى المختلفة، واكتسبت تدريجيًا تقديرًا لجميع هذه الأشكال الفنية المختلفة وتطور الفن نفسه. الآن، أتعامل أساسًا مع الفن المعاصر، وهو المفضل لدي في الوقت الحالي. ومع ذلك، يجب دائمًا تقدير الأساتذة. في الواقع، لدينا أعمال دالي في فيرتي المعاصر اليوم!
— واو، كيف تشعر حيال ذلك؟
— عندما أخبرتني ميرا أننا سنحصل على أعمال دالي في معرضنا، كان ذلك لا يصدق. كان الأمر كأن نقول، "لا يمكن، هل سنحصل حقًا على دالي في معرضنا؟" نعم، كان حلمًا تحقق، والآن لا زلت أراها كل يوم باندهاش.
— That's really cool! Okay, now, going back to your teenage years, we are touching on a tough topic. Once, you mentioned that when you were between 11 and 13 years old in Milan, you felt insecure. You were a bit overweight and experienced bullying because of this. Did your classmates bully you because of your appearance or something else?
— I would say, you know, the classic being bullied for the way you look. I was a bit overweight, and in Milan especially — I feel like because it is a fashion capital — people are very hyper-focused on appearance. I remember being made fun of and not fitting in with the popular kids. But it is funny because one summer, I think I just had a growth spurt and lost weight, and the way I was treated changed dramatically. It just goes to show that "pretty privilege" is very real. When you look a certain way, you are treated very differently. Having been bullied, I would never treat someone that way.
— Your classmates called you "tree trunk legs", right? Was that the extent of it, or did they bully you in other ways as well?
— Yeah, it was just name-calling, you know, or making you feel bad, laughing at you. When you are a teenager, you are already the most insecure person, so these things can break you. That is what triggered an eating disorder for me. I felt very worthless because I was overweight and very insecure. I wanted to lose weight but didn't understand what a healthy way to do that was at the time. Then I discovered calories. It was like an Eureka moment for me. I thought, "Oh wow, calories. Okay, I'm going to track them and only eat about 600 calories a day." And this is where it starts. I feel this is where eating disorders start for many young men and women. You learn what calories are, you start tracking them, become hyper-focused and obsessed, and feel guilty if you exceed your limit. I remember losing a lot of weight. My teachers and my mother — the people who loved me — were concerned. They were worried and would say, "You're not eating. What's wrong with you?" I continued on that path for a while, and it was a constant cycle of gaining and losing weight all the way until university.
— How many kilos did you lose?
— I think I was about 10 when it all started. The thing is, I had a growth spurt, so I grew tall and lost some weight. I don't remember the exact numbers, but I definitely got skinnier, though not to the point of anorexia. But later on, I developed other issues like binge eating, which led to bulimia. It started with restrictions, and then, if I exceeded those restrictions, I felt guilty and would purge.
I really didn't know anything at the time. I had no idea what I was doing, and I didn't even realise it was bulimia or anorexia. It is strange looking back, but then you start to learn about these things, and yes, it is definitely a psychological issue. You end up with body dysmorphia; you never feel good enough, and you develop such a negative relationship with food that it disrupts your hormones. I remember always feeling tired.
My skin looked bad, I experienced hair loss, and during university, I had a major health scare because my immune system was severely compromised. I went to a doctor, and they diagnosed me with shingles, which typically affects older adults or those with very weak immune systems. Realising I was just harming my body scared me, and that is when I decided enough was enough.
I want to feed my body, nourish it with good nutrients, exercise, and be healthy. I don't mind if I gain weight; I just need to fix whatever I have broken inside of me, and that is exactly what I did. When I started eating normally again, I did gain weight. I also started boxing, which really helped, and I felt my body composition improving. It was difficult to see myself getting bigger, but eventually, after battling with myself, I reached a point where I was happy being a bit fuller and just feeling healthy.
To this day, if my weight fluctuates a bit here and there, I am completely fine and at ease with it. I am thankful for the journey it has taken to reach this point. I am now very confident and happy, and I maintain a healthy relationship with food. I feel that the old side of me is gone, and I can't imagine returning to that previous mindset.
Now, it breaks my heart to see my little sister struggle with food. It is a generational issue as well — I observe the dynamics surrounding food in the women of my family and friends' families, and I recognise the pervasive and damaging nature of this toxicity in many women's relationships with themselves.
— During that period when you were dealing with an eating disorder, did you find yourself throwing away food?
— Yes, definitely. I would often buy whatever I wanted, take one bite, and then throw the rest away. Or, I'd keep certain foods out of my fridge altogether.
— When you face an eating disorder and can’t control your eating behaviour, you might become obsessed with certain foods, thinking about them all the time. Did that happen to you?
— For me, I used to forbid myself from eating certain things, like a chocolate egg, thinking, "This is so bad; I can’t even have one." But then I would think, "Let me just have one," and soon after, "Since I have already had one, I might as well have another." And before I knew it, "I have already broken my diet, so I might as well finish the whole bowl." That is the trap many people fall into. You restrict yourself so much that you can’t stop thinking about it. That is basic psychology: anything you are told you can’t have becomes irresistibly tempting. You start to believe that even one bite will add a layer of fat overnight.
Eating disorder is like a demon enters your brain, starts talking to you, and you can’t control it. That was my case. My obsession was with foods like cookies and pasta. If I made pasta, I would cook a lot, eat the whole bowl, and then feel guilty enough to make myself throw up. The same applies to cookies, chocolates, or whatever it was. It is all about guilt. I feel like many people develop eating disorders when there are other things troubling them in their lives, especially when it comes to binging because it helps suppress feelings. When you are angry, down, or experiencing any negative emotion, the immediate relief from something tasty, like chocolate, can be very appealing.
For anyone trying to overcome this, it is crucial to understand what triggers you and to really want to get better. You need to realise how it is impacting your life. You are letting food control you, instead of you controlling what you eat and your mind.
Overcoming it requires a strong will. It takes immense strength and constant self-talk. You have programmed yourself to think a certain way about the food. You need to deprogram your mind. You have to battle it, find ways to cope and build your self-worth. During my phase of eating disorders, my self-worth was really low. I didn’t love myself, and I felt insecure. As you build a better relationship with yourself, it also shows in your relationship with food and exercise. That is what I feel, at least for me. That is what I have realised now.
— I have never felt healthier in my entire life, and I have maintained this good feeling for the past three to four years. My weight has stabilised, and I eat well and exercise regularly. However, I am no longer too harsh on myself. I used to think I needed to work out five times a week and strictly adhere to a diet. But now, I eat what I want occasionally, focusing on consuming good nutrients for my body. I exercise, but if I don't feel like it or if I am in pain and need to rest more one day or week (haha), I allow myself to skip it. It took a while, but I am very grateful for the mindset and the healthy relationship I now have with myself. Yes, it is definitely possible to move out of any negative headspace, to improve your relationship with yourself, with food, with exercise, and with everything else.
— Yeah, thank you for sharing. Okay, I have one more question about this. Can you tell if someone might have an eating disorder just by observing their behaviour without actually knowing the person?
— Eating behaviours can definitely give some insights, especially if you are dining with someone and notice their mannerisms around food or the comments they make.
You can often hear sayings like "a moment on the lips, forever on the hips," or "I need to skip lunch today because I ate so much yesterday." From these interactions, I can definitely tell about their struggles, and I have learned that you can't really intervene because people need to want to change themselves. Even with my family members, I have tried to offer advice, but nobody listens unless they are ready to hear it. Sometimes, you have to step back. It is like the saying, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink."
Even my little sister comes to me all the time asking how I lost weight because she wants to lose weight, too. I tell her to maintain a balanced diet and not worry too much about food. She is only 13 and still growing. I encourage her to exercise and eat healthily, as well as to enjoy what she wants without obsessing over food.
— Honestly, knowing about that issue, I try not to make food the centre of the universe while raising my daughter. I focus on keeping it balanced without giving it too much emphasis.
— It is a tough balancing act: on one hand, you want your children to eat well and avoid developing unhealthy habits. On the other, you don’t want them to become overly concerned with every choice they make, nor do you want to impose such strict restrictions that it ultimately backfires as they grow older. I never faced food restrictions as a child, yet I still developed obsessions with food. Influences can also come from the behaviour and attitudes of those around us, including how people talk about food or even how the parents of friends enforce these "restrictions."
Moreover, the way a mother — or any female figure — treats herself and views her body deeply impacts her daughters. For instance, if a girl sees her mother scrutinising her own body in the mirror or obsessing over needing to be skinny, it sends a strong message about body image. Statements like, "I have gained weight; I am only going to eat salads today," can profoundly influence a young mind. Girls often absorb these attitudes subconsciously, not just from their mothers but from other influential women around them, and these perceptions may not fully surface until much later in life.
Océane Sailly, Mara Firetti, and Cèline Azem
— Thank you, Cèline. Now, could you tell me about your career path? How did you become a curator?
— This is what I studied at university, where I worked on quite a few projects. Through opening the gallery and through Mara's selections, I got to know many amazing artists, and we collectively worked on numerous projects and exhibitions! It was a great opportunity to grow and learn as a curator and art enthusiast. I guess I picked up my eye for art from my mother!
Gradually, I began curating and co-curating several exhibitions. I have worked alongside curators whom I deeply respect! One of them is Océane Sailly, a French PhD student with an incredible knowledge of art. She owns a gallery called HUNNA, focusing mainly on female artists from the Arabian Peninsula. We worked on a group show called “Eyes Wide Shut” together.
I enjoy brainstorming with others and co-curating, like the exhibition with Ali Cha’aban and Mara ["The Fifth Wife"]. Ali’s knowledge of Middle Eastern art is extensive, and he has some brilliant insights into curating — he just has a brilliant mind in general! He brought some amazing artists on board for the show. (Thank you, Ali!!!) Other experiences at art fairs and with institutions have been extremely helpful in shaping my curatorial practice. Curating is a continuous learning journey. You get better with time and experience!
We have been open for nearly four years now, and we have hosted some very interesting shows covering a variety of topics and themes. It has been both fun and enlightening. A lot of my inspiration for curating comes from the messages behind the artists' work — a lesson I have learned from Mara! They are the stars of the show, after all. My role is to piece things together, helping to communicate their stories and concepts. If it is a group show, I look to bridge artists who have similar views or who beautifully juxtapose each other. There is beauty in that juxtaposition. Curating is like a playground of art and ideas.
It really is broad, and you can come up with so many interesting concepts to start discussions. That is the beauty of it. If we are passionate about something, or if our gallery's ethos is concerned, it is about creating meaningful and sustainable collections. So, for every show that we organise, we try to ensure it carries an important message, whether it is about environmental sustainability, social and political concerns, women's rights, or other relevant issues in our society at the time. Essentially, everything we do must have meaning.
— Have you ever encountered artwork that moved you to tears or almost did?
— Since opening the gallery, two artists in particular have deeply moved me. One of them is Sawsan Al Bahar. I curated her first solo exhibition in 2020, titled "Talaliya." Her practice involves tracing the ruins of her home. Being Syrian-Palestinian, her works revolve around this theme. We installed 3D-printed sculptural sheets with pages inscribed with her grandfather's memoirs. He had left Palestine during the Nakba, moving to Damascus, Syria, and never returned. His writings recount his memories of his life in Jaffa, Palestine, and his family's departure and gradual settlement in Damascus — making the show profoundly touching. The delicate use of graphite in her drawings, a medium that is a trace in itself, serves as a powerful metaphor for the transient nature of memory. Conceptually, she is brilliant, considering every detail in her work that, when understood, touches you deeply.
Another artist who evoked strong emotions in our gallery is Annie Kurkdjian. Lebanese-Armenian, her work is a manifestation of generational trauma from the Armenian Genocide and the Lebanese Civil War, exploring PTSD through uncomfortable, yet compelling figurative works. These drawings often depict figures in pain, in strange positions that might initially discomfort viewers but also allow a deeper connection to the raw and real human condition, beyond rose-colored lenses. Her work is powerful and resonates deeply because it confronts discomfort in a paradoxically beautiful way.
My love for art thrives on works like these that provoke discomfort yet offer new perspectives on the realities of the world, beautifully conveyed through the lens of the artist.
— هل تود مناقشة أي معارض قادمة تقوم حاليًا بالتحضير لها في معرضك؟
— نحن مشغولون بالتحضير لعرض في فصل الخريف مع فنان أذربيجاني مثير يدعى كايخان صلاحوف.
سيقوم صلاحوف بتقديم سلسلة جديدة مستوحاة من عصر النهضة، تتضمن أعمال كلاسيكية في رؤيته، والتي تتأثر بشكل كبير بالهندسة المقدسة. لا أريد أن أفصح عن الكثير من التفاصيل بعد، ولكن من الواضح أن المعرض يتشكل ليكون مثيرًا جدًا.
بالإضافة إلى ذلك، لدينا معرض فردي قادم للفنان الأمريكي جيسون ميدلبروك. تتضمن أعماله المميزة نحت وتشكيل جذوع الأشجار لتصبح لوحات لفنون هندسية تشير إلى أعمال فنانين مثل إلسورث كيلي، بريدجيت رايلي، وفرانك ستيلا. هو أيضًا فنان مستدام؛ عن كل شجرة يتم قطعها، يتم زرع عشرة، وأسلوبه فريد وجذاب.
نخطط أيضًا لمعرض فردي مع آني كوركديان. أنا متحمس بشكل خاص بشأن هذا المعرض وأتطلع لرؤيته يتحقق.
— هل يمكنك إخباري المزيد عن تصميم وتنظيم المساحة؟ على سبيل المثال، لماذا تم وضع موضوعات معينة في مواقع محددة؟ أنا مهتم بفهم المنطق وراء تنظيم المساحة.
— أردنا أن تكون المساحة متنوعة تمامًا. جميع هذه الجدران التي تراها قابلة للتحريك. في الأساس، في كل مرة لدينا عرض، يتغير الديناميكية الكاملة للمساحة لتلبية الحوار الذي نريد تقديمه لكل عرض معين. هناك دائمًا عملية تحدد ما الذي نريد أن يواجهه الزوار أولاً، وأهمية الفنان في سرد النص الإشرافي، ثم نبني على ذلك.
لأكون صادقًا، كل شيء يعتمد على الحالة عندما يتعلق الأمر برحلة العرض. أعتقد أن معظم القيمين أو مالكي المعارض سيتفقون على أنك دائمًا تبدأ بفكرة معينة، ولكن عندما تكون الأعمال الفنية موجودة فعليًا، يتغير كل شيء. لقد واجهت العديد من الحالات حيث، في اللحظة الأخيرة، كان علينا تعديل الخطة تمامًا لأنه بمجرد أن ترى القطع شخصيًا، تدرك، "لا، يجب أن تكون هذه القطعة هنا، وتلك هناك، وإعادة تنظيم الجدران لتناسب تدفق الزوار بشكل أفضل." لذا، نعم، إنها عملية ديناميكية وغالبًا ما تكون غير متوقعة.